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So it turns out that "The Love Shack" does, indeed, turn up on your bank statement. 
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to fall after leaning your chair back a little too far.
--^v--^v--^v--^v-_____^v--^v--^v-- For a second there, I was bored to death.
needs a Facebook button that says "What you just posted makes me want to stab you."
wonders...If 7-11 is open 24hrs a Day, 365 Days a year......Why are there locks on the door?
if I stand on my tip-toes, I can see the weekend from here!
It all makes sense now!! Gay marriage and Pot legalized on the same day... Leviticus 20:13 "If a man lays with another man he should be stoned." We've just been misinterpreting it all these years!!
congratulates Tiger Woods on the 2009 PGA Playa' of the year award.
You know what's beautiful? Read the first word again.
They say 1 in 4 men is homosexual. So there must be one in my group of friends. I hope its David he's super cute.
I see Walmart is opening a dental office in select stores. I wonder if they will have an express lane for people with 10 teeth or less
Hamburger Helper can only help the hamburger that wants help.
If steroids are illegal for athletes, shouldn't Photoshop be illegal models?
looks like we have a 7-year old on the loose today posting all kinds of outdated and b0ring sh!t.
For christmas I bought my girlfriend a treadmill and a Victoria's Secret catalogue.
Please do not start naming your future newborn "blue Ivy", yellow mustard, dark orchid, pastel white, purple rain, orange caramel or anything that don't make sense; we already hav ppl named after cars(Mercedes, Infinite, Camry, Alexis).
Me: I'm happy right now. Life: lol one sec
Drink apple juice... OJ will kill you.
Nobody teaches volcanoes to erupt, tsunamis to rise, hurricanes to sway around, no one is taught how to choose a wife, natural disasters just happen!!!!!!
I may be way off here but I suspect there is a correlation between your failure to get a descent job and the dumb tattoos all over your neck and face. 