Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I wanna be a billionaire so freakin bad buy all of the things I never had...I wanna be on the cover of Playboy magazine smiling next to Charlie Sheen...
←Rate | 03-08-2011 06:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? The hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
←Rate | 03-23-2011 14:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 69 + 69 = dinner for four. . .
←Rate | 07-15-2014 23:47 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon With gas prices at what 5 bucks a gallon? It's cheaper to do cocaine and just run everywhere.
←Rate | 10-22-2014 15:32 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Canada doesn't want you. Why would be buy something that's broken?
←Rate | 10-05-2013 11:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Roman man walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. "You mean a martini?" the bartender asks. The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"
←Rate | 07-28-2015 09:15 by Intellectual Comments (0)  


   messageicon must be stored in a cool dry place away from sunlight.
←Rate | 11-30-2008 11:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Barack Obama has 6.5 MILLION Fans on Facebook...how many hunters can we find??
←Rate | 08-18-2009 20:55 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon blind man walking past fish market says, "Hello, ladies."
←Rate | 03-07-2011 00:40 by JayPJee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was at the red light beside a car load of mexicans when a semi ran over top them. I thought, dang that could've been me. So I got my CDL's
←Rate | 08-05-2011 11:07 by jdirt Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison? You know he did it.
←Rate | 04-08-2015 00:02 by Rev Al S Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oops, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know that you were a Special Needs Person. Until you said, “I don’t like The New President of the United States of America.”
←Rate | 08-14-2017 17:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Things to not say on an airplane?" Hmm. Let me think......................"Islamic prayers?"
←Rate | 01-08-2012 23:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says: "I make a good living."
←Rate | 11-15-2011 15:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The reality is that if you have a job that requires a name tag, I'll never give a crap what your name is
←Rate | 07-01-2011 23:11 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon running with scissors and playing with matches...
←Rate | 05-20-2009 00:32 by Icy Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They can both smell it, but can't eat it!
←Rate | 04-11-2010 23:05 by ANGELA Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Americans are so angry about illegal border crossings, why does the national anthem start with 'Jose can you see?'
←Rate | 09-01-2012 09:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon IF A MALE AND FEMALE ARE IN THE SAME ROOM 8 HOURS A DAY 5 DAYS A WEEK ITS GONNA HAPPEND SONNER OR LATER
←Rate | 08-13-2010 18:50 by EL KERNAL Comments (2)  


   messageicon Stephen Hawking has died. Now he will have to face the God he said does not exist.
←Rate | 03-14-2018 07:22 Comments (0)  



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