Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon ‎The vastness that is the universe is within everyone's grasp, if they but only have the vision to see beyond its infinite yet attainable horizons.(I wanted to see how full of it I could get)
←Rate | 01-29-2013 17:39 by Mcfazerino Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe someone stole her phone, that's why she hasn't called me in 3 years. Yeah I'm sure that's what it is.
←Rate | 07-05-2013 12:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a beautiful day to dwell on the past and blame yourself for things out of your control.
←Rate | 07-07-2013 18:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i dont know what makes you stupid, but it works really well.
←Rate | 07-31-2013 13:11 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I must be amazing at chatting online; everytime I talk to a girl I leave her speechless.
←Rate | 08-10-2013 10:39 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield.
←Rate | 08-19-2013 09:58 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon My apartment looks like a tornado sat around all day and watched TV.
←Rate | 08-29-2013 13:04 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet if you're a firefly, it must be really hard to get to sleep at night with all that random flashing.
←Rate | 06-25-2013 22:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm an inventor. I invent all kinds of sh*t. But some people call it lying...
←Rate | 06-26-2013 15:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After losing Gronkowski to injury and Hernandez for murder, I heard Tom Brady is ecstatic that Tim Tebow will be handling the duty of "tight end" next season. ツ
←Rate | 06-26-2013 16:19 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you're poor, then you're the one doing it wrong, dude...
←Rate | 07-04-2013 11:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm always disappointed when liar's pants don't actually catch on fire
←Rate | 07-06-2013 04:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love earth, except the people on it.
←Rate | 07-08-2013 04:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't back up and pin the doctor the wall when he sticks his finger in, it's not a prostate exam.
←Rate | 07-10-2013 01:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't pay you to put evil notions in my head. The ones already in there don't need company. - Tyrion Lannister
←Rate | 07-12-2013 01:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish my name was Grudge. This way women would hold on to me forever.
←Rate | 07-14-2013 11:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Never understood why people watch porn together while having sex. If I have porn then what the hell do I need with another person?"
←Rate | 07-15-2013 23:57 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Actually, it's either: "DRIVING" or "RIDING" six white horses. Who's the dumb@$$ now?
←Rate | 07-20-2013 21:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon About this whole Royal Baby thing, I googled "who cares?" and my name wasn't in the search results. 
←Rate | 07-22-2013 16:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't have an ugly person in your group of friends, it's probably you.
←Rate | 08-02-2013 14:49 Comments (0)  



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