Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 12:06 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 12:05 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not single. I'm in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 12:05 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok, I am still holding onto five jars of mayonnaise. What the heck do I do with them??
←Rate | 05-06-2011 11:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At night, I secretly delete people on your page while you are asleep that might be potential flirters. You call it insecurity, but I call it job security…you're welcome!
←Rate | 05-06-2011 10:24 by BRian Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turning on my computer reminds me of the days when you would have to wait for the tubes to warm up on the TV.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 09:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are dreaming of being on the same level with me, you better wake up and apologize!
←Rate | 05-06-2011 08:27 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its taken me 20 some odd years to figure out who was the favorite child, until I went to my moms basement last week and found a box labled Sean's bath toys- It was a radio and toaster..
←Rate | 05-06-2011 08:12 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss the good old days when rock stars abused drugs and alchohol. Now they abuse auto-tune and Photoshop.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 07:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkward moment, when you wave to someone and it turns out they were waving to the person behind you.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 07:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Armored dog aided Navy SEALs. Somehow, “good dog” doesn't seem enough.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 07:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you confront your Man, don't make him feel interrogated. Remember, you could win the argument and still lose the Man.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 03:58 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon After many bad reviews it's clear the Blackberry playbook is no threat to the iPad. In response Apple release the iToldYa
←Rate | 05-06-2011 03:57 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you love someone truly and unconditionally, age, distance, bank balance, height or weight is just a damn number.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 02:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon ooh lookie my mood ring is a beautiful shade of I dont give a crap
←Rate | 05-05-2011 21:57 by shoesan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose your job. Recovery is when Obama loses his job
←Rate | 05-05-2011 21:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who want's to Indian Leg Wrestle?
←Rate | 05-05-2011 19:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some guy just gave me half of a peace sign.
←Rate | 05-05-2011 19:17 by Aaron Comments (2)  


   messageicon I wish my car was more like KITT. Not for the crimefighting abilities, mind you, I'm just really lazy.
←Rate | 05-05-2011 17:32 by Donna Comments (0)  


   messageicon celebrating Sheen-co de Mayo with some Tiger Blood!
←Rate | 05-05-2011 16:59 Comments (0)  



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