Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4043 of 5577

   messageicon The bra section. The only place in the world where you fail if you get an A.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 01:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? I pulled up next to this chick in the car putting on mascara and it just didnt look right with those yellow teeth!
←Rate | 12-20-2011 01:07 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon If at fist you don't succeed, Google it, and see if someone else screwed it up the way you did.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 01:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is a b!tch, and Monday's its son..
←Rate | 12-20-2011 00:50 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Right now your holding your phone in your right hand, having your 3 fingers behind, your pinky on the bottom & scrolling down with your thumb! :)
←Rate | 12-20-2011 00:46 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon RUMORS are carried by HATERS, spread by FOOLS and accepted by IDIOTS.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 00:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear God, its me again. If you are not busy making rich people richer, can I have a minute of your time please?
←Rate | 12-20-2011 00:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im gonna laugh when the day comes when our generation is saying "You spoiled little brats! All we had in our day was Xbox's, PS3's, iphones, flat-screen tv's & laptops, you ungrateful little sh!t"
←Rate | 12-19-2011 23:42 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon These girls in my online class are sooo hot hot. ... Oh wait nevermind, that's just internet porn.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 23:39 by @HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Jong il last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
←Rate | 12-19-2011 23:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm looking for a LeBron James sort of relationship. No ring and I can disappear when you really need me.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 22:49 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Putting your iPod on shuffle… “not this one.” (←_←) “or this one.” (←_←) “BINGO!” ~(','~) (~',')~ \('-'\) (/'-')/ \('-'\) (/'-')/
←Rate | 12-19-2011 22:39 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jesus had a snuggie first
←Rate | 12-19-2011 22:28 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon The phases of a Relationship: 1. ;-) 2. :-* 3. XOXO 4. XXX 5. EX
←Rate | 12-19-2011 22:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thank goodness Jon Bon Jovi is alive after all, Nickleback would be nothing without him.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 22:04 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon dont ask me to lower my standards for you to raise your average!!
←Rate | 12-19-2011 21:54 by shelly Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attention everyone: Jon Bon Jovi isn't dead, just his career
←Rate | 12-19-2011 20:47 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon if cannibal kids are in the yard playing with neighborhood children, is that considered "playing with their food"?
←Rate | 12-19-2011 20:15 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon why did it have to be Kim Jong Il...why couldn't it have been Beiber
←Rate | 12-19-2011 20:05 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saab filing for bankruptcy? Such a Saab story.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 19:01 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left