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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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The Weather is here...I wish you were beautiful...
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01-05-2012 20:43 by
migasjoe
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kids that stutter can blame their moms for using a vibrator while they were pregnant
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01-05-2012 19:27
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I only knew one LA Clipper fan before this season and he used to get made fun of everyday for it.
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01-05-2012 18:58 by
L
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That akwward moment when... you're trying to get over someone you never even dated.
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01-05-2012 18:49
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I hate when I'm about to chat someone and they go offline.
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01-05-2012 18:45 by
Forever Alone
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you know your cooking sucks when you gotta post todays menu on facebook for it to be appreciated.
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01-05-2012 18:44 by
L
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Until I get a good woman, I have beer. Then after I get a good woman I will have her and beer.
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01-05-2012 18:30
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on my way to Walmart to take the "try me" stickers off the noise making toys and stick them on condom boxes
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01-05-2012 18:06 by
Nelson
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So I'm home alone and heard a noise and got scared so I decided to get drunk. Then I made about 80 quesadillas SO NOW I'm trying to sell them and put Taco Bell out of business...Tell your friends!!
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01-05-2012 17:58 by
zman87
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I carry a knife, but it's just in case of cake.
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01-05-2012 17:58 by
Aaron
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With dolly partons new face ,,she is now ready to play the Joker ,,,for the next Bat man movie The joker gone wild..!!
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01-05-2012 17:56
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Give the Haters what they came to see, a reflection of one self where they aim to be! Let the loser's worry about Losing!
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01-05-2012 14:55
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For my birthday I got a pimp chalice (coffee mug), a jet pack (soda maker) and a Samurai sword (pen). Never give up on your dreams, people.
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01-05-2012 14:50 by
SuthernFukr
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Don't let the kickass part scare you, I'm as harmless as a honey badgar.
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01-05-2012 14:48 by
SuthernFukr
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Ladies, please stop wearing sweatpants w/a corp logo on the butt. That area's only supposed to advertise YOU.
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01-05-2012 14:47 by
SuthernFukr
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What's the difference between weather and climate? You can't weather a tree, but you can climate.
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01-05-2012 14:07 by
L
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Baby, You're rapidly replacing porn as the reason I get on the internet.
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01-05-2012 13:48
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Dear Mario, I wasted my childhood just to save your b!tch.
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01-05-2012 13:47 by
@CarbonZilla
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Best invention ever; a mirror that takes pictures
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01-05-2012 13:42
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Baby, I would delete almost all of my p0rn for you.
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01-05-2012 13:37
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