Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Big girls don't cry. Well, not tears. It's a combination of chocolate, movie popcorn butter, and broken dreams.
←Rate | 01-07-2012 07:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could win American Idol if they just let me bring my shower on stage.
←Rate | 01-07-2012 07:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere in the ghetto is a family that leaves the lights on in the kitchen so the roaches don't take over at night!
←Rate | 01-07-2012 07:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doggystyle makes every chick pretty.
←Rate | 01-07-2012 07:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my DVR caught a virus or STD, somehow it recorded Jersey Shore on its own and wont allow me to delete 'em
←Rate | 01-07-2012 07:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'Amber Alert' would be a bada$$ name for a stripper.
←Rate | 01-07-2012 05:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do I really have to explain why I love you? Okay fine. I love you because you give good head.
←Rate | 01-07-2012 04:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's always funny when a basic chick tries to pass herself off as a model.
←Rate | 01-07-2012 04:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fellas: Never let your woman talk you into painting her nails. You might as well give her your balls too.
←Rate | 01-07-2012 04:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon She asked him, "What kind of wedding would you want?" He replied, "The one that would make you my wife."
←Rate | 01-07-2012 02:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon " Grandpa, do you still do Sex?? ", Grandpa: "Yes Son, we do Oral sex.", " How? ", Grandpa: " I tell your Grandma Fuck you, She says Fuck you too " !!
←Rate | 01-07-2012 00:01 by Mark Wilson | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks they should make one of those laser pointer things that instantly detect STD's so you can point it at people when they try to shake your hand or hug you.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 22:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People think I'm quiet because I'm shy, but really I've been silently judging them from afar and determining that they're all phucking retards
←Rate | 01-06-2012 22:32 by me Comments (0)  


   messageicon you're not fat, you are just easy to see
←Rate | 01-06-2012 22:29 by me Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, surrounded by a$$holes!
←Rate | 01-06-2012 22:28 by me Comments (0)  


   messageicon DEAR SIDEWALK, Please get wider... SINCERELY, 3rd FRIEND WALKING BEHIND FEELING EXCLUDED.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 22:25 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I wasn't that drunk" "Dude, you picked up a little Mexícan girl and screamed, 'DORA! I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME!'" @____@
←Rate | 01-06-2012 22:18 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon WOMAN'S LOGIC... Bikini: no problem Underwear and Bra: OMG!!! DONT LOOK!!!
←Rate | 01-06-2012 21:54 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon A relationship is like a house. When a light bulb burns out you do not go and buy a new house, you fix the light bulb
←Rate | 01-06-2012 21:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everybody talks about my drinking but nobody talks about my thirst.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 21:44 by g0re Comments (0)  



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