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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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People that have 7 kids, let's be honest.....do you actually LOVE all those kids?
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09-05-2015 11:15
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I sit blindfolded. A woman in a lab coat feeds me a Twix.... "Hmmmm, She marks her notes, 33 consecutive correct guesses"
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09-05-2015 11:20 by
snotty
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If a shark attacks you,,, DO NOT punch him in the nose... Be the bigger person and just ignore him.
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09-05-2015 11:25 by
snotty
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*sees a knife for the first time..... "WHOA,,, that's the greatest thing since torn bread.."
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09-05-2015 11:26 by
snotty
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I'm starting a sarcasm club. It would mean the world to me if you joined.
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09-05-2015 11:26
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Why the hell is Spanish ESPN called ESPN Deportes and not ESPÑol
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09-05-2015 11:27 by
snotty
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It's 2015,,,, why do babies still have cords
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09-05-2015 11:27 by
snotty
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Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas.
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09-05-2015 11:29
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I'm now at the age where if I see a nice nursing home, I make a mental note of it.
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09-05-2015 13:33 by
snotty
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If they ever start handing out medals for not participating in anything, that might be my moment to shine.
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09-05-2015 13:59 by
Kisstopher707
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This chick has a couple of good ideas that I would like to motorboat.
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09-05-2015 15:18
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Before you marry a person,, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
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09-05-2015 15:32 by
snotty
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Why is it so important that we learn how to write a thesis statement? I can't imagine my future boss saying, "have that thesis on my desk by 5 o'clock or it's your ass!
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09-05-2015 15:33
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If a girl invites you upstairs for "coffee," first,, make sure she has coffee, you don't want to get up there and there's no coffee.
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09-05-2015 15:39 by
snotty
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A recent survey indicates that nobody knows anyone anywhere who has ever participated in a recent survey.
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09-05-2015 16:38 by
snotty
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The new white Iphone is so white, that all Siri talks about is Pumpkin Spice Lattes, and it instagrams all of your food automatically.
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09-05-2015 17:07 by
snotty
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There are two kinds of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
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09-05-2015 17:29 by
snotty
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Happy labor day to those who actually have to work
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09-06-2015 03:17
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I came, I saw, I got jiggy with it, I'm now discussing my options with a court appointed attorney.
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09-06-2015 08:47 by
Czovczov
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What if born on planet earth is being sent to hell from another planet?
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09-06-2015 09:44
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