Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I twisted my ankle playing vodka last night.. Next question

   Most of my wives think I'm a Mormon.

   Go home feelings, you're drunk

   It's like grandma used to say "pass that sh it to the left and don't fcuk up the rotation"

   I am hoping that legalizing gay marriage will increase the chances of a hot lesbian couple moving in next door.

   Talk to your kids about drugs. Always stay informed about what drug is cool. You don't wanna be a nerd parent.

   Complicated, for two please.

   If you're not having a blast, you're doing life wrong.

   Me: I wish my life were more exciting Alcohol: Have another drink and call your ex

   You had me at "this is a bad idea"

   I can't tell what's currently doing worse, my love life or my bank account

   If you want the perfect girlfriend date Wonder Woman..Oh wait, she's not real either!

   yet another bad week to be a knuckle dragging neo-con

   cons can't understand the US Supreme Court I see. Never paid attention in government class in grade school, is the reason

   Let's drink until we don't have feelings

   Facebook so fresh, you can taste the rainbow

   Somewhere over the rainbow photoshop lies.

   Alcohol? Yes. Feelings? No.

   When a mosquito bites you and it dies of alcohol poisoning you're doing something right

   When did Facebook become Rod, Jane and Freddy?