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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I still think I'm in my 20s sometimes...until I try to do something like I'm in my 20s.
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06-06-2015 10:57 by
Kisstopher707
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I just shouted at a guy driving aSmartCar..... and I think I totaled it.
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06-06-2015 13:52
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Be careful,,, A vetrinary receptionist has the power to know everyone's password.
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06-06-2015 13:55 by
snotty
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Hmmmm,, Texting while driving is illegal,,, but you can go ahead and eat a burrito while putting on mascara?
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06-06-2015 13:57 by
snotty
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Bruce Jenner wears a dress in public and Vanity Fair asks him for a photo shoot. I wear a dress in public and the police ask me for a breathalyzer.
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06-06-2015 13:59
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I think a UPS truck, is like the adult version of an ice cream truck.
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06-06-2015 13:59 by
snotty
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Oh, so you're religious? *backs away slowly*
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06-06-2015 17:23
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Nobody pissed me off today... I got to get out more.
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06-06-2015 18:21
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Blind belief is so often the death of reason.
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06-07-2015 03:00 by
Kisstopher707
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The human heart is amazing. It can get hurt and in a few days it ready to get out and get some more pain.
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06-07-2015 06:29
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Suarez must be on a diet. He didnt bite anyone..*Dissapointed*
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06-07-2015 10:16
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I went grocery shopping hungry and I'm now the proud owner of aisles 6, 8, 9, 12, and most of the bakery.
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06-07-2015 11:52
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I joined Farmersonly.com and I've already hooked up with my sister and 2 cousins!!
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06-07-2015 11:57
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If you ever look in the mirror and wonde if your look is still in style, remember there are still guys with pony tails so you're probably not that bad...
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06-07-2015 14:20 by
eengrms
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[stands up in church] Okay I’m starting to think some of this stuff isn’t true you guys.
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06-07-2015 15:07
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Hot singles in your area wish you would turn up the air conditioning.
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06-07-2015 15:26 by
Nipper
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Sobriety is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.
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06-07-2015 16:44 by
Nipper
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Nice try Bruce, but nobody over the age of 11 is named "Caitlyn"
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06-08-2015 08:04
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Whipped cream is just like regular cream but can't do anything unless its girlfriend lets it.
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06-08-2015 08:06
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I would be at your side through anything, exepct a marathon.... screw that.
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06-08-2015 08:06
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