Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I still think I'm in my 20s sometimes...until I try to do something like I'm in my 20s.
←Rate | 06-06-2015 10:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just shouted at a guy driving aSmartCar..... and I think I totaled it.
←Rate | 06-06-2015 13:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be careful,,, A vetrinary receptionist has the power to know everyone's password.
←Rate | 06-06-2015 13:55 by snotty Comments (3)  


   messageicon Hmmmm,, Texting while driving is illegal,,, but you can go ahead and eat a burrito while putting on mascara?
←Rate | 06-06-2015 13:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bruce Jenner wears a dress in public and Vanity Fair asks him for a photo shoot. I wear a dress in public and the police ask me for a breathalyzer.
←Rate | 06-06-2015 13:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think a UPS truck, is like the adult version of an ice cream truck.
←Rate | 06-06-2015 13:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, so you're religious? *backs away slowly*
←Rate | 06-06-2015 17:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nobody pissed me off today... I got to get out more.
←Rate | 06-06-2015 18:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Blind belief is so often the death of reason.
←Rate | 06-07-2015 03:00 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The human heart is amazing. It can get hurt and in a few days it ready to get out and get some more pain.
←Rate | 06-07-2015 06:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Suarez must be on a diet. He didnt bite anyone..*Dissapointed*
←Rate | 06-07-2015 10:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went grocery shopping hungry and I'm now the proud owner of aisles 6, 8, 9, 12, and most of the bakery.
←Rate | 06-07-2015 11:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I joined Farmersonly.com and I've already hooked up with my sister and 2 cousins!!
←Rate | 06-07-2015 11:57 Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you ever look in the mirror and wonde if your look is still in style, remember there are still guys with pony tails so you're probably not that bad...
←Rate | 06-07-2015 14:20 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon [stands up in church] Okay I’m starting to think some of this stuff isn’t true you guys.
←Rate | 06-07-2015 15:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hot singles in your area wish you would turn up the air conditioning.
←Rate | 06-07-2015 15:26 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sobriety is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.
←Rate | 06-07-2015 16:44 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nice try Bruce, but nobody over the age of 11 is named "Caitlyn"
←Rate | 06-08-2015 08:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whipped cream is just like regular cream but can't do anything unless its girlfriend lets it.
←Rate | 06-08-2015 08:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would be at your side through anything, exepct a marathon.... screw that.
←Rate | 06-08-2015 08:06 Comments (0)  



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