Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I still think I'm in my 20s sometimes...until I try to do something like I'm in my 20s.

   I just shouted at a guy driving aSmartCar..... and I think I totaled it.

   Be careful,,, A vetrinary receptionist has the power to know everyone's password.

   Hmmmm,, Texting while driving is illegal,,, but you can go ahead and eat a burrito while putting on mascara?

   Bruce Jenner wears a dress in public and Vanity Fair asks him for a photo shoot. I wear a dress in public and the police ask me for a breathalyzer.

   I think a UPS truck, is like the adult version of an ice cream truck.

   Oh, so you're religious? *backs away slowly*

   Nobody pissed me off today... I got to get out more.

   Blind belief is so often the death of reason.

   The human heart is amazing. It can get hurt and in a few days it ready to get out and get some more pain.

   Suarez must be on a diet. He didnt bite anyone..*Dissapointed*

   I went grocery shopping hungry and I'm now the proud owner of aisles 6, 8, 9, 12, and most of the bakery.

   I joined Farmersonly.com and I've already hooked up with my sister and 2 cousins!!

   If you ever look in the mirror and wonde if your look is still in style, remember there are still guys with pony tails so you're probably not that bad...

   [stands up in church] Okay I’m starting to think some of this stuff isn’t true you guys.

   Hot singles in your area wish you would turn up the air conditioning.

   Sobriety is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.

   Nice try Bruce, but nobody over the age of 11 is named "Caitlyn"

   Whipped cream is just like regular cream but can't do anything unless its girlfriend lets it.

   I would be at your side through anything, exepct a marathon.... screw that.