Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon "OMG, Have you heard the news?" "Yeah, they totally carried Huey Louis"
←Rate | 06-03-2015 14:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coffe so black it wants to start looting.
←Rate | 06-03-2015 15:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Timehop is good for one thing, it's to remind me that I peaked a few years ago...
←Rate | 06-03-2015 15:44 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coffee so black it drop out of high school
←Rate | 06-03-2015 16:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon National Running Day was a success. Ran to the fridge then back to the couch. Whew! I'm exhausted.
←Rate | 06-03-2015 17:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my Timehop, I drank a lot on this day in 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011...
←Rate | 06-03-2015 17:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coffee so bitter it blocked me on Facebook.
←Rate | 06-03-2015 17:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon meets girl for coffee* *sets down blueprints for bank* "What's this?" Your dating profile said you were looking for a partner in crime..
←Rate | 06-03-2015 17:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Grateful Dead are putting out an 80-disc live performance box set. No word yet on which Grateful Dead song it will be....
←Rate | 06-03-2015 20:48 by Mark M Comments (0)  


   messageicon We now return to PAWN STARS: How much can I get for this genuine 100 dollar bill.... The best I can do is $25..... Thinks for 5 minutes.... Deal
←Rate | 06-03-2015 21:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon They praise and call Brice brave for changing into a woman. They hail it as an achievement. This world has really gone to the dogs. I remember a time when bravery was risking your life fighting against the Nazi. Achievement was landing on the moon.
←Rate | 06-04-2015 00:07 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Education is important but happy hour is importanter.
←Rate | 06-04-2015 00:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sepp Blatter is being investigated by FBI regarding his illicit relationship with Bruce Jenner.
←Rate | 06-04-2015 00:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coffee so strong I see noises.
←Rate | 06-04-2015 00:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is National Cheese Day! So let us each take a moment and pray for all the hapless imbeciles in the world who foolishly ask "Would you like that with Cheese?"
←Rate | 06-04-2015 01:21 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my wine like I like my men, inside me.
←Rate | 06-04-2015 08:04 Comments (1)  


   messageicon My cat’s gonna be homeless unless he comes up with something funny to post on YouTube.
←Rate | 06-04-2015 09:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes officer I know it seems like a lot for personal use.
←Rate | 06-04-2015 13:45 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon "For the record I made women from men before it was cool." - GOD
←Rate | 06-04-2015 13:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbours sex sounded so good I made them a Sandwich..
←Rate | 06-04-2015 15:00 Comments (0)  



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