Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Ok effff it, I guess I'll go ahead and say it first, "new year new me!"

   Why is it that people who are the most vocal about demanding respect are the ones who have done the least to earn it?

   People treat New Year’s like some sort of life changing event. If your life sucked yesterday, it’s probably still going to suck today in 2015...

   I feel pretty damn good this morning, I made it 2 hours longer then my last years, New Years Resolution!

   New Year, New Me!!! my @ss, woke up and it's still the same me.

   2015 and I still can't believe it's not butter!

   Phil Collins "in the air tonight" is not the most popular song in Malasia

   Too bad you couldn’t leave your ugliness in 2014.

   My neighbor is so uptight I could put a lump of coal in his butt and 5 minutes later he'd be like "don't put stuff in my butt anymore, Mike"

   My New Years resolution is to throw my hands up in the air......but this year I vow to wave them all around like I just don't care..

   I met my ex-girlfriend’s son today and told him about how I once auditioned to be his father.

   now if I can train my cat to eat dog poop, I will never have to buy pet food again

   I still remember 2014 like it was yesterday!

   My Resolution was to watch less por...Damn, already blew that one.

   Unless you got cloned on new year's eve, please don't write: " new year, new me." It's not gonna end well.

   FACT: Somewhere, right this minute, someone is reading this sentence.

   Ladies, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest, eat a banana.

   I've started to make a fresh start in 2015, so if I owe you money, too bad.

   Side chicks get the " oh yeah, happy new year." Text message today.

   OK, here's how it's going to be....Love me or leave me...understand? Hold on.....wait.....hey....where's everybody going??