Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Next time you hear a stranger give out their number text them details of what they're wearing. It's so much fun to watch them freak out
←Rate | 07-21-2014 14:46 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon President Obama called for the immediate cessation of hostilities in Gaza today. He went on to warn that if there isn't a peace treaty signed by both sides on his desk by the end of the week, that he has a phone and a pen. "My Will Be Done" -- B. Hussein
←Rate | 07-21-2014 15:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know that Hamas and ceasefire should be used in the same sentence...
←Rate | 07-21-2014 20:02 by J4P Comments (0)  


   messageicon If silly putty would have applied itself,,, it could have been serious putty.
←Rate | 07-21-2014 21:12 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just when I got the best place to hide a body, I forgot who I lent my shovel. . .
←Rate | 07-21-2014 22:11 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anyone is looking for an unlicensed helicopter pilot give me a call. . .
←Rate | 07-21-2014 23:04 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies... When they say it's all downhill after 40... Just know.... They're talking about gravity!
←Rate | 07-21-2014 23:47 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon I make guys nervous when I go braless... Because at that point... They see I have bigger balls than they do!
←Rate | 07-21-2014 23:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Possible post if Facebook was around in 1968) Busy day today. Me and my cousin rode are bikes all over town. Later we went fishing and after that played some basketball , don't text us we don't have a cell phone............
←Rate | 07-22-2014 06:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people shouldn't talk unless they can improve on the silence.
←Rate | 07-22-2014 06:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Prince's greatest hits now under twenty quid, so tonight I'm going to party like it's £19.99.
←Rate | 07-22-2014 07:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you see someone crying, ask them if it is because of their haircut.
←Rate | 07-22-2014 09:01 by Yaj Comments (4)  


   messageicon can someone tell Andrew Jackson we read Snarkecards also
←Rate | 07-22-2014 11:00 by duh Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call Converse on a nun? Nunchucks.
←Rate | 07-22-2014 12:46 by GWillikerz Comments (0)  


   messageicon People on the plane, rained mainly on Ukraine
←Rate | 07-22-2014 12:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I cracked two jokes earlier about Malaysian Airways. The first got no response and the second crashed and burned.
←Rate | 07-22-2014 12:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Malaysian Airlines - Worse with planes than Casey Anthony is with children!
←Rate | 07-22-2014 12:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently there is a difference between Hamas and Hummus... So I have been avoiding my fridge for nothing.
←Rate | 07-22-2014 13:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A pine tree planted in 2004 in memory of former Beatle George Harrison in a Los Angeles park has died after being infested by beetles.
←Rate | 07-22-2014 16:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to buy someone a birthday gift at CVS so then I can make a ribbon out of the receipt ‪#‎recycle‬
←Rate | 07-22-2014 17:13 by Eddy Comments (0)  



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