Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4670 of 5594

   messageicon my safe word is "is that blood?!"
←Rate | 07-17-2014 02:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Automatic Toilet Flusher: I appreciate your enthusiasm but I wasn't done yet.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 07:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We look down on other fish fingers" - A Birds Eye view.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 08:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know if anyone been in the new Mus-lim clothing store in the mall but I suggest you don't ask if they have any bomber jackets in stock....They didn't like that at all.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 09:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look officer, I'm a woman I answer to no one.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 09:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so depressing how the <3 symbol looks like someone dropped their ice cream cone.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 09:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't religious people have the same said "blog" where they can be stupid without boring the rest of US? How "Christian" to talk crap about others...religious people are some of the BIGGEST hypocrites and most judgmental people I know of.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 11:19 Comments (15)  


   messageicon Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don't have a moon where I live.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 11:32 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call a woman with big breasts who doesn't make sandwiches? A compromise.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 12:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 12:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I quit" - Ahmad Jauhari Yahya, Group Chief Executive Officer Malaysia Airlines
←Rate | 07-17-2014 12:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all of the people whom voted for Obama the second time: There's an idiot on your keyboard right between the letter "Y" and "I"
←Rate | 07-17-2014 13:38 Comments (3)  


   messageicon President Vladimir Putin says at least we know where this Malaysian Airliner is.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 13:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got you something better than a present. I wrote "happy birthday dude" on your Facebook when a robot reminded me it was your birthday.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 13:49 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your shirt isn’t tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 13:51 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only time the word incorrectly isn't spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 13:52 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m not really into the idea of letting a set of made up ancient rules dictate my life. Hell I'm not real keen modern laws telling me what I can and cannot do!
←Rate | 07-17-2014 14:33 by John Y Comments (2)  


   messageicon I could spend my day outside, but I'm sure there's plenty of p0rn that needs to be rated.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 15:34 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon *at the cat shelter* Yes hi, where are the shopping carts?
←Rate | 07-17-2014 16:59 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Malaysian Airlines will only be selling one way tickets from now on.....
←Rate | 07-17-2014 17:04 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left