Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Fact: A 3 year old can hear a candy wrapper being opened from up to 300 miles away.

   You know I don't care about losing some people that don't wanna be in my life anymore, I lost people that meant the WORLD to me and I am still doing just fine.

   Jimmy cracked corn and no one cared about it so much that they've been singing about it ever since.

   I kept this status nice and short so it would be just like me. My "Eye Roll Sense" is tingling.

   ♪♫ I'm just a little silhouetto of a man... Got a song? Got a song stuck in your head right now? ♪♫

   A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back.

   Bon Jovi lives but John Tucker must die

   The difference between being good... And being better is sometimes in how willing you are to let your Demons free to dance with your Angels.

   Love is very strong.. It can remove tears, fears & even underwears.

   How come people who think they know everything never seem to know when to shut up?

   What is love? I don't even want an answer. I'm just ecstatic knowing that at least 90% of you thought "Baby, don't hurt me."

   My songs pants fell down last night and a hologram of Michael Jackson appeared

   I don't judge you because your opinion differs from mine. I judge you because your opinion is imbecilic.

   So I danced like no one was watching. I'm currently out on bond and my hearing is next week.

   I'm so sick of all these Happy videos that I am really starting to get depressed.

   I tried killing a spider with glitter body spray. Now it won't stop stripping and I have to call it Cinnamon.

   I know many Idiot Savants, just not with the Savant part.

   Some people are like a surprise package. You never know what you are gonna get with them.

   "Just be yourself" doesn't work if you suck.

   Being an Atheist isn't a choice. It is merely a side effect of being highly intelligent.