Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   ♫♫♫♫♫ The sounds of violence ♫♫♫♫♫

   can people who are paralysed from the waist down fart?

   NOW ON EBAY - NBA TEAM for sale! previous owner with plantation mentality.

   I wonder if Tommy Lee, Tom Jones, and Tommy Lee Jones all get each other's mail.

   Remember the good old days when sex was dirty and the air was clean?

   RIP DJ E-Z Rock...May your eternal journey home be filled with more Joy than Pain

   When black men pick cotton... All I can think of is the good ol' days! Praise Jesus.

   I grew up in a Catholic Church and befriended the priest. It's a touching story.

   Why do girls associate their selfies with a deep yet irrelevant quote? I do not understand the correlation

   I'm just a boy, looking at a girl. Ohh look, she has nachos. I'm just a boy, looking at nachos

   I'm not always productive as I could be... My brain has too many tabs open.

   The nice thing about picking up hitch hikers is that you can use the car pool lane before they kill you.

   You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. You can’t teach a cat anything, ever.

   Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it's a small soft drink.

   Boss: So, tell me your greatest weakness Me: Honesty Boss: I don't think that's a weakness Me: I don't really care what you think.

   I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me.

   Just spent the last 30 minutes cutting a Batman mask off the back of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios & my kid thinks he’s gonna get to wear it.

   Judging by all of the rotten-tooth smiles I see in this town, they should put the Fluoride in the meth instead of the water.

   I'll have plenty of time to be tolerant when I'm dead.

   My buddy only has one ball so when he sexts his GF he uses 4===D.