Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Don’t expect a “bless you” after the 4th sneeze…get your self together 
Fun thing to do #47 When you see someone on one knee tying their shoe stand in front of them and say "YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES"
My dad use to take me to the circus to see the tattooed man and the bearded lady. Now, I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.
"No, honey, I don't talk about you on Facebook." *enables passcode lock on phone*
I would give up Facebook for you baby.
Call me traditional, but marriage should stay between a woman afraid of being alone & a man who finally caves after years of her pressure
Sorry I fake yawned when you started talking.
Light beer and turkey bacon probably won't kill you but why take the chance??
Advantage #46 of being single. I have entire closets that are completely empty.
Yankees pitcher Michael Pineda was ejected last night for having pine tar on his neck, and rubbing it on his hand to get a better grip on the ball — because league rules clearly state that all illegal substances must be put INSIDE your body.
This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.
"Can't go wrong with oolong"... is my favorite tea shirt.
According to my calculations,,,, The Rock should beat Edward Scissorhands in a fight
People in glass houses should probably buy their Windex at Costco.
"Can I have more of these mouse spears?" "Sir those are toothpicks" "I need 1000 for my army. We march at dawn"
I'm "it's 8:30 and you want to start a movie this late?" years old.
If woman ruled the world there would be no wars.....just a bunch of countries not talking to each other.
I can't stand the fact that people are so obsessed with this movie Frozen! They need to "Let it go...let it gooooo.
The pollen is so bad this year that the trailer park people are changing crystal meth back into Sudafed.
When people call me smart, I'm just thankful they're not around to see me turn the wrong burner on the stove every-single-time!!
Site Links
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com
