Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Back seat drivers are all the same..."Why we going into the woods?" "Let me out"
←Rate | 03-13-2014 19:09 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon So how long do I have to microwave this spider before I let it bite me?
←Rate | 03-13-2014 21:17 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon FUN PRANK: Go to a Barnes & Noble, and put ALL of the Bibles in the SCI-FI Section...
←Rate | 03-13-2014 23:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After watching for over fifteen minutes, I don't think that RuPaul's Drag Race has anything to do with automobiles
←Rate | 03-13-2014 23:38 by cpaman Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't know heartbreak until you see the waiter coming to your table with food but then take a sharp turn to a different table.
←Rate | 03-14-2014 03:43 by Udit Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scientists can't decide if eggs are bad for you, how many planets we have, or how old the Earth is....let alone what began the universe. Based on their lack of consistency and plausibility, I'm going with the God theory.
←Rate | 03-14-2014 06:05 by Massolare Comments (7)  


   messageicon My new girlfriend takes my breath away...she's insatiable and inflatable....then, sadly, I poked her.
←Rate | 03-14-2014 06:39 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon This could turn out to be one hell of an April Fools joke if Malaysia Airlines pulls it off...
←Rate | 03-14-2014 07:37 by Steve OH Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's my birthday on St Patrick's Day and I'm gonna be drunk all weekend! LET'S GET READY TO STUMMMMBLLLLE!
←Rate | 03-14-2014 10:54 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd probably go to church if all the women wore yoga pants. And they were all hot. And it was at a bar. A free bar. Amen.
←Rate | 03-14-2014 13:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We men love two women; the one is the creation of our imagination and the other is not yet born.
←Rate | 03-14-2014 13:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why has no Media source asked J. J. Abrams where Malaysia flight 370 is?
←Rate | 03-14-2014 14:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Malaysia Air uses Waze Maps
←Rate | 03-14-2014 15:10 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon One time I lost my phone for 6 days, so I feel your struggle Malaysia
←Rate | 03-14-2014 15:11 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am not down with OPP but I'm definitely down with the sickness
←Rate | 03-14-2014 15:11 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever like someone so much that you just want to chew on their hiney?
←Rate | 03-14-2014 15:12 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Adult gummy Melatonin: because while fat, drunk and stupid might be the American norm, fat drunk stupid and sleep deprived is unacceptable.
←Rate | 03-14-2014 15:14 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is it about your mother's basement that makes you so tough on the internet?
←Rate | 03-14-2014 15:22 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone will fund it, I'll go to the rainforest and just lick stuff until I find a cool new drug.
←Rate | 03-14-2014 15:25 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Amazon says that by 2015 they can make deliveries using drones, your move Jimmy Johns
←Rate | 03-14-2014 15:28 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  



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