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The thermometer on my cars says, "FU_____CK YOU!" 
You can judge me, but you can't change me.
there's a method to my madness.. just a madman with no method..
It's sofa king cold today!!
Sometimes when I want to kill myself, I remember I have other personalities to consider. I'm thoughtful like that, always thinking of others.
I will fake love and take full advantage of you .
Yesterday I met my ex-girlfriend’s son and told him about how I once auditioned to be his father.
I came, I saw, I screamed "How the hell do I get out of here?"
Whenever I see a happy couple, smiling, giggling, feeding each other food, whispering sweet nothings, very much in love, I just wish I could give them a lie-detector test.
Wine her, dine her, sixty-nine her.
You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold.
It seems like the winters have gotten colder since Al Gore stopped blowing hot air about global warming. Coincidence? I think not.
It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table.
Yay. ..Mr.Plow is here! Won't have to eat another kid.
Don't worry, everyone is self-conscious about something. For example, you're probably concerned about that awful haircut or your ugly nose.
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I think that means I have 2020 vision
you know its cold outside when you go outside and its cold
"Oh you just laid down to relax? Well, I need you to get up and do stuff" - marriage
Stop leaving me messages. If I ever wanted to talk to you again, I wouldn't have borrowed all that money.
I keep writing "2015" on all my checks because I hope to have money by then. 