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I just seen someone update their status on Facebook to "I Wish Every Guy Was Like Jack From The Titanic." What... Dead at the bottom of the ocean? 
I'm thinking of getting a tattoo saying, "I'll regret this one day"
So is PMS also called "game of hormones"?
If the Starbucks is less than a block away, it's an extension of your house and you can go in your pajamas.. That's the law
Just want to thank all the people who reviewed "Star Wars" on Netflix. You guys swayed me, I'll check it out
Just an observation but.....I believe this exotic dancer might make a little more money if she would wax her mustache
turned around in bed to say goodnight to my beautiful lady...after three days I wonder why she doesn't have the decency to stop saying "who are you.? Please let me go!"
You might be addicted to Facebook if you read my post's every day...
Squirrels have 4 teeth.... Jealous Tennessee?
Sometimes I touch your avatar inappropriately
When they say "all expenses paid," does that include bail?
You can tell its a Sunday when Facebook erupts in regret.
How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?
If you want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with..I shouldn't be telling you this..
Taking back your EX is like buying your shi$ back from your own garage sale..
There are two different kind of people in the world, "born" ones and "made" ones.
You know there comes a point where you should say NO while watching a reality show of a couple in Alaska digging a deep hole by hand in frozen ground for an outhouse because the other one has a frozen poopsicle in it. What is wrong with me?
I'm here for my ballet lessons, so move over because I look damn good in a tutu
should I paint my nails light pink or nude? - Kim Kardashian
Kissing burns 6.4 calories per minute. Wanna workout? 