Monday Funny Status Messages

   Had a great weekend, now Monday just like always comes and steps in and ruins it

   I'm not saying she's a slut, but she's been banged more than a snooze button on Monday morning.

   shhhh.. i'm waiting behind the door. gonna blindside monday with a swift kick in nuggets.

   Son came home from school and asked what "ostracized" meant.. Of course I told him its a unit of measurement for birds.... *now I've got another parent/teacher conference next monday*

   Today is Monday, and that's reason enough for me to hate it.

   I always feel uneasy when Friday the 13th falls on a Monday.

   Sooo.. In between Mundane Monday.. And Whip'em Out Wednesday.. I now proclaim today as.."Touch ur Toes Tuesday!" Because people are just so eager to F*ck you every chance they can get!

   Don't wait untill friday, start your weekend at monday !!

   starting the diet on monday or when walgreens runs out of maked down christmas candy

   How I love #Monday. On a different subject. Have you ever met someone for the first time and wanted to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?

   Warning: going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday. Please note that staying awake all night does not prevent Monday. There is no cure.

   Never trust someone that smiles on Monday morning.

   A perfect Monday night: 7 pm -- Ahh yes Chinese food!!! 7:15 pm -- I'm so full. 7:30 pm -- Ahh yes leftover Chinese food!!!

   Dear Monday, Please don't be a snatch today. Please pass on the message to the rest of the week...Thanks

   “Hey. What do I do again?” -- Me greeting my boss every Monday morning.

   Yes tell everyone who cares to listen about how Monday sucks so we all know what a bore you are.

   Daily log Monday morning, 9:49am: I have decided I am done trying until Friday night, I've already been here too long this week.

   I cannot believe Monday got the audacity to be tomorrow..

   If Monday had a face, I'd punch it.

   The day after Easter should be known as Egg Salad Monday.