santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon January: that special time of the year when a children's Xmas toys & his parents are BOTH broke.
←Rate | 01-19-2010 03:29 by (the real) Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon santa just touched my no no spot. :(
←Rate | 01-20-2010 03:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon the best times to have a, valentines and her birthday
←Rate | 01-22-2010 19:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon jaegermeister: its like running down the stairs on Xmas morning and then realizing your Jewish.
←Rate | 01-24-2010 00:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This "fancy" wine rack I got for Christmas is total crap. NONE of these boxes fit at all
←Rate | 01-29-2010 14:29 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon I feel like the little kid before Christmas... cant wait to get up and see what St. Patty has for me under the keg !
←Rate | 03-12-2010 23:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon St. Patrick -- one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish.
←Rate | 03-17-2010 10:05 by Brades Comments (0)  

   messageicon Time's running out if you want a chance at a Christmas / New Year baby.. I'm free for the next couple nights..
←Rate | 04-01-2010 15:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon does find it very funny that on the news they have immigrants who want to vote Tory !! just like turkeys voting for christmas ... they might aswell vote BNP !! buy hey , at least they won`t have to pay a higher tax rate !!
←Rate | 04-06-2010 13:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Only 259 more shopping days till Christmas
←Rate | 04-11-2010 15:29 by Santa Comments (0)  

   messageicon once my kid learned how to read I had to explain why all his Christmas presents said 'Made in China'
←Rate | 04-20-2010 04:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, sh!t on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me B!tch." I don't own a hamster.
←Rate | 05-01-2010 23:08 by paulb808 Comments (0)  

   messageicon -- My girlfriend pulled up a chair earlier and said..... "We need to talk about our future."..... I said, "Yeah, it's gonna be f***ing mental - we'll have flying cars, shiny silver suits, holidays on the moon!"...Needless to say - I'm now f***ing single !
←Rate | 05-05-2010 19:14 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon After undergoing a sex change operation, a judge in Santa Monica granted Chaz Bono's petition to be recognized legally as a man. He celebrated by leaving the toilet seat up.
←Rate | 05-08-2010 05:51 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was in Walmart the other day and noticed they had some Obama Christmas tree decorations for sale...I guess they figure it's okay to hang a black man from a tree now.......
←Rate | 05-08-2010 09:55 by Tanner Comments (2)  

   messageicon wondering why unemployment didn't find it funny when I sent them a bill for overtime due to excessive hours of job searching on weekends, nights and holidays.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 09:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Will work for salary and benefits with an annual cost of living increase but not on weekends, statutory holidays, or during 3-week vacation.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 18:19 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon so far so good.... no unexpected father's day cards or presents!
←Rate | 06-20-2010 15:40 Comments (1)  

   messageicon What do Edward Cullen and a Christmas tree have in common? Their tiny balls sparkle.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 22:51 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon if any more of these Mel Gibson tapes get released you'll be able to buy the box set from Time Life by XMas
←Rate | 07-16-2010 07:22 Comments (0)  

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