Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6269 of 6370
..is sleeping naked. I just wish that stewardess would go away. I don't care if there are children on this plane!
Going to walmart with some friends of mine. Thats the best place to play hide-n-seek.
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11-11-2009 02:45
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if I stand on my tip-toes, I can see the weekend from here!
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11-11-2009 00:34
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in a personal vacation inside my head
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11-11-2009 00:08
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eat, drink and make merry coz tomorrow we may diet.
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11-10-2009 23:32
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Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML
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11-10-2009 22:43
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Heaven's not a place that you go when you die, it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive.
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11-10-2009 22:04
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Life aint nothing but a hide and go seek with death!!
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11-10-2009 21:23 by Supanova
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used to be legit. He was too legit. He was too legit to quit... but now he's not legit. He's unlegit. And for that reason, he must quit.
Forget a "dislike" button , id rather have a "This makes me want to punch you in the freakin throat" button
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11-10-2009 18:43 by Vinny
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When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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11-10-2009 18:37 by zee
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Anyone caught singing Christmas carols between now and Thanksgiving will be slapped.
_̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
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11-10-2009 17:21
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Why is it that Volvic Mineral Water, which has been filtered through volcanic rock for millions of years, has a Best Before date?
wondering who was the first to look at a cow and think;"ill just squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out of it!"
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11-10-2009 15:38
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had a handle on life, but it fell off with the wheel
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11-10-2009 15:36 by Charleigh
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can hit the snooze button, with eyes closed, while half asleep, in 1.7 seconds, the first try, every time
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11-10-2009 15:34
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in the jungle baby! and gunna dieee!
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11-10-2009 15:27
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can't help falling in love with you... maybe electroshock therapy will do the trick...
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11-10-2009 15:18
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loves that you are nonodys friend until facebook tell you that you are.
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11-10-2009 13:58 by carebare
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