Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6219 of 6371
When faced with a difficult task, pass it on to a lazy person and she'll figure out an easier way to accomplish it.
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12-20-2009 00:35
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The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters ‘Well I guess that answers t
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12-19-2009 21:53
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Just because you're corny in real life, doesn't mean you have to be corny on faceboook... It's your second chance!
Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid I'll take over
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12-19-2009 19:16 by TAJ
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Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off
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12-19-2009 19:15 by TAJ
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The worst feeling you'll ever feel is sitting next to the person who means the world to you knowing that you mean nothing to them ...
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12-19-2009 19:12 by TAJ
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We made Gingerbread Man cookies today, and I'm still laughing. My kids were acting out Shrek with them, and one was Lord Farquad: "I'm not the monster, you are! Now tell me where are the others!" The other was the GBM: "Eat Me!" Christmas with kids = win
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12-19-2009 19:01 by F
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kissed a girl [then click "like"]
just been diagnosed with as serious case of idontgiveacrapitis.
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12-19-2009 17:46
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sometimes I feel like a crayon in a box full of markers...
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12-19-2009 17:24 by joe fool
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According to a new poll, 26 percent of unemployed adults blame George W. Bush for the high unemployment rate. The other 74 percent blame the fact that they majored in English literature.
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12-19-2009 16:52 by tomcall
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Harry Reid is a cotton head ninny muggin
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12-19-2009 16:17
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Question: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull his pants down? Answer: He heard the snowblower coming!
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12-19-2009 15:48
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smile it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth
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12-19-2009 14:51
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wanders if a turtle lost it's shell would it be homeless or naked? :)
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12-19-2009 14:15
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if good girls sit on santa's lap, do bad ones sit on his face?
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12-19-2009 11:37
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knows God is no mechanic, but he gives great repairs!
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12-19-2009 10:52 by raul
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borrowing money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
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12-19-2009 10:48
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not fighting his way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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12-19-2009 10:45
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reminding you that Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
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12-19-2009 10:43
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