Funny Status Messages

   TGIF - Thank Goose It's Friday

   A cop came over and told me that my dog was chasing people on a bike....I told him, "Don't be ridiculous, my dog doesn't doesn't own a bike."

   So where am I supposed to put my rage when I’m driving?

   I just put (3) Bit-coins in the car wash and got a 30K wash. :(

   I don't know why people see a stutter as being a negative thing. I love people with stutters. It's like they're giving you a drum roll before they start talking.

   I went to the party store to buy a balloon and it was $3.25. When I was a kid that would’ve been a quarter at most. Then I realized… I guess that due to the cost of inflation

   Apparently there are some "Careless Whispers" about how George Michaels passed away. .... Still too soon?

   It's so hot outside I attended a Virginia Neo-Nazi rally just to be next to something shady...

   Space, the final frontier for William Shatner who's 10-minute mission to seek out stranger new publicity for Jeff Bezoses Space Program. To boldly go where only a few million Tourist have gone before!

   i had a dream this guy apologized for everything, and then I woke up and put bird seeds in front of his building

   I've heard Drug Addiction, Smoke Addiction, Alcohol Addiction, Gamble Addiction... but TECHNOLOGY Addiction, now that's new!

   This 'itch', That 'itch', Jovanovic! Stojkovic! : This is what you get for the holocaust, b!tch!

   I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five each other because it’s positive.

   You know your getting old when you need pen and paper to do maths.

   What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

   If the people I come in contact with daily could read my mind I'd get punch in the face alot.

   My right-wing views brings all the Proud Boys to my yard, and they're like, it's better than yours, damn right, it's better than yours, I can teach you but I have to charge.

   I have a joke about the pandemic but it’s taking too long to finish

   I eat wheat even though I am allergic to it. You might say I'm a gluten for punishment.

   I love to walk in fog , so nobody knows am smoking (̅_̅_̅_̅(̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅̅_̅()ڪے~ ~