Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6147 of 6371
Passion, manners, and 80 ounces of beer will win the heart of any woman. And if it doesn't, you'll be too hammered to remember
←Rate |
02-04-2010 22:43
Comments (0)
Learn from your parents' mistakes. Use birth control.
←Rate |
02-04-2010 22:41
Comments (0)
Be normal, and the crowd will accept you. Be deranged, and they will make you their leader
←Rate |
02-04-2010 22:41
Comments (0)
living in my own little world, but its ok they know me here...
←Rate |
02-04-2010 22:28 by \"J\"
Comments (0)
Confucius say: Man who go to sleep with sexual problem, wake up with solution in hand....
←Rate |
02-04-2010 22:21 by samdave69
Comments (0)
the world's oldest ww1 veteran just turned 108 today...he recently finished his fourth tour in Afghanistan.
←Rate |
02-04-2010 22:07
Comments (0)
Fake people are just as bad as fake breasts.....Only reason they exist is to make one feel better about themselves
←Rate |
02-04-2010 21:47
Comments (0)
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
←Rate |
02-04-2010 21:17 by tomcall
Comments (0)
Why am I so mean? My heart was made of chocolate so I ate it. Now I have no heart and no chocolate! Wouldn't that make you mean??
←Rate |
02-04-2010 20:59 by Taleah
Comments (0)
To bring attention to testicular cancer week, I am telling you my boxer briefs are black.
←Rate |
02-04-2010 20:37
Comments (0)
don't think you're on the right road just because it is a well beaten path
←Rate |
02-04-2010 20:05 by j dubb
Comments (0)
Beauty is only a light switch away...
←Rate |
02-04-2010 19:58
Comments (0)
Make love, not war.-Hell, do both GET MARRIED!
←Rate |
02-04-2010 19:56
Comments (0)
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere
←Rate |
02-04-2010 19:55
Comments (0)
Friends don't let friends take home ugly broads...
←Rate |
02-04-2010 19:51
Comments (0)
if you expect me stop dreaming...I'd give up. If you expect me to give up...I'd stop dreaming. ;-)
←Rate |
02-04-2010 18:59 by j dubb
Comments (0)
as Vice-President of Toyota I would like to say please dial 1800-our-bad.
←Rate |
02-04-2010 18:02 by Aaron
Comments (0)
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die...
←Rate |
02-04-2010 18:01
Comments (0)
The only way you have a 12 incher is when you leave Subway!!!
←Rate |
02-04-2010 18:01
Comments (0)
My girlfriend has the last word in any argument... Anything I say after that is the beginning of a new argument
←Rate |
02-04-2010 18:00
Comments (0)