Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6136 of 6370
Why does war exist, why do we hate, and who keeps making these Martin Lawrence movies? Big Mommas House 3? Three? WTF
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02-10-2010 17:08 by MN
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If we are all part of a greater whole, and all come from the same place, and we are all one and share the same essence…why can't I have sex with my friend's sister without him getting mad at me? She's hot, I wanna get in that…
Sometimes it's just easier to pay someone else than to try to do it yourself....Especially when that something is spreading herpes or glitter
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02-10-2010 16:43
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Sometimes it's just easier to pay someone else than to try to do it yourself....Especially when that something is Proctology
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02-10-2010 16:01
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Treat me like an angel.....and il take you 2 heaven! ;-)
Have you ever looked up the word "dictionary" in the dictionary? A hand comes out of the page and slaps you across the face.
*holding my shirt* excuse miss, would you consider this boyfriend material?!?!
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02-10-2010 14:52 by geez
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a good deed is when you smoke weed
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02-10-2010 14:51 by rahel
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man came up with a new invention: a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
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02-10-2010 14:11
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Text Chicago to 90999 to donate $75 plus a tax of 10% and a parking fee of $10 plus a beer fund of 8.5% to donate for Illinois Earthquake Relief
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02-10-2010 12:13
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Friends will lend you their umbrella; Best friends will run away with it and yell "Run little Retard, Run!!"
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02-10-2010 11:44 by Katie
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Damn! Facebook goes through more mood swings and changes than a 18 year old girl........or is it a 21 year old? [ I forgot which one was b*tch!er]
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02-10-2010 11:01 by Danmanz
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needs to find the stuff that's making his hair turn white and direct it towards his teeth.
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02-10-2010 10:59
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I've said it before and I'll say it again! Those are not my toys, and I don't know why they're in my bedroom! ;-)
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02-10-2010 10:42 by Talsier
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R.I.P PHIL HARRIS FROM DEADLIEST CATCH. WE LOVE WATCHING YOU
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02-10-2010 10:22
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Snow on da ground.... Snow on da ground... drivin' like a fool when there's snow on da ground....look at ya now... car spinning 'round.... drivin' like a fool when there's snow on da ground...
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02-10-2010 10:15
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Both Political parties are debating the fault line responsible for today's quake: Democrats says its the Bush's Faultline and the Republicans say its the Obama's Faultline
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02-10-2010 10:13 by abominog
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relieved that even tho 230,000 government workers couldn't make it past the blizzard to work in DC this week, the country has somehow managed to continue as if nothing happened.
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02-10-2010 10:04 by markf
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"We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage."
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02-10-2010 09:58 by savio
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begining to think Facebook has Body dysmorphic disorder, seriously enough with the changes!!! We liked you the way you were!!!