Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6049 of 6370
is experiencing fact that "having jalapenos once, will burn you twice."
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03-27-2010 01:23
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If it wasn't for my superior willpower, I might be exercising right now!◕ ‿ ◕
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03-27-2010 01:21
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I'm fed up with my brain remembering crap I'd like to forget and forgetting crap I'd like to remember!
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03-27-2010 01:19
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I'm fed up with my brain remembering crap I'd like to forget and forgetting crap I'd like to remember!
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03-27-2010 01:19
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I'm fed up with my brain remembering crap I'd like to forget and forgetting crap I'd like to remember!
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03-27-2010 01:19
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hates that the jeopardy theme song is stuck in my head. Its giving me a false sense of anxiety!!
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03-27-2010 01:16
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dropped it like it's hot BUT before it even hit the ground....caught it like a cold...WHAT ARE THE ODDS?
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03-27-2010 01:07
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What do you do if your about to die in front of a candy store? Eat a life saver :)
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03-27-2010 00:00
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i feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket orrrrr something!!!!
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03-26-2010 23:23 by russell k
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I told my wife I wanted breakfast in bed in the morning. She said go sleep in the kitchen.
you spin my head right round, right round..but thats a good thing, it was outta wack from checking out that guy ;)
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03-26-2010 21:39
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Today, I went to meet a girl I met on facebook. When I met her, I was shocked to see that her actual appearance didn't match that of her facebook pic. The words "Stock Photo" weren't even written on her Forehead.
I wish the government would takeover all the Farmville land and sell it off Facebook to pay down the national debt
Watagatapitusberry!
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03-26-2010 20:46
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can't seem to remember to forget you
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03-26-2010 20:25 by Aaron
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turning japanese
have you ever slept so good you couldn't wait to do it again as soon as you woke up?
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03-26-2010 18:26 by Danmanz
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If I had a kid at 16 I'd get my A$$ whooped, not a TV show.
Your mama's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed just to measure how long she slept.
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03-26-2010 18:02 by Y.P
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MoooooooM tell Boredom to leave me the F#ck Alone!!!!!!
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03-26-2010 16:31
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