Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Some things are really better left unsaid!

   If you hear your past calling, change your phone number...;-):-P

   If you keep God inside your heart, there's nothing that will come into your life that you won't be able to handle. God is enough!

   "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow'"

   the military is the best at creating oxymorons...i.e. "friendly fire" or "military intelligence".

   The Biggest Lie Ever: "i Have Read & Agree 2 Di Terms Of Use."

   "Don't Regret Anything U've Done Bcuz' At One Point In Ur Life It Was Exactly what you Wanted 2 Do."

   more excited than a baby in a titty bar....!

   just heard that LITTLE TWIT Justin Bieber say "yo dawg" during an interview.. WTF !! When is his 15min gonna be up?

   Working on the art of the classic "Farmer Blow" technique. Figure I can save a lot of money on tissues with allergy season here.

   Political speeches are like bull horns. A point here. A point there. And a lot of bull in between.

   There are no winners when you're arguing to someone about Politics.

   You know those couples where the wife is 40 something and looks like 20 something, and the husband makes over 100k and the teenagers are respectful and good looking and they go out to eat together on Friday nights as a family? I HATE those people!

   SCIENCE FACT: If you took all of the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

   Happy Easter!!! Remember that laying on your back screeming OH GOD is not a substitue for going to church Sunday

   obviously sitting here staring at my computer screen waiting for a notification to suddenly pop up so I can have a moment of excitement.....i need a life!!!

   Some of us have to learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.

   wtf why does everyone on facebook think there models?

   Women want a fairytale romance. Men Just want a happy ending...

   I'd take your message of social upheaval much more seriously if your "Anarchy" patch hadn't been purchased at Hot Topic.