Monday Funny Status Messages

   World Cup fixtures: on Monday Argentina meets Brazil in Cape Town. On Tuesday Spain meets Italy in Johannesburg and on Wednesday England meets France at the AIRPORT !!!

   Weekend settings activated, please don't call unless if its alcohol, food, fun, alcohol, fun and food again. All problems deferred to Monday...

   So, Monday... we meet again. Are you going to play nice this time or do I have to knock you into next week?

   On Monday, Chipotle will begin selling tofu burritos in the New York area. So if you love burritos, and you love tofu . . . you probably don’t exist.

   Why is Monday so far away from Friday but Friday is so close to Monday?

   Friday!!! I’m so glad you are back. I’m sorry you had to see me with Monday-Thursday, but I swear I was thinking of you the whole time.

   Between Black Friday and Cyber Monday, there is Sit on My Ass and Watch Football Sunday!

   This week's weather forcast...Monday: Room Temperature Tuesday: Room Temperature Wednesday: Room Temperature Thursday: Room Temperature Friday: Room Temperature

   A cigarette shortens life by 2 min,a beer shortens life by 4 minutes,a Monday at work shortens life by 8 hours

   If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that it doesn't let you skip.

   Turns out if you fake your death every monday work catches on.

   PMS - (Pre Monday Syndrome)

   Monday?! But, I wasn't even finished with Saturday yet.

   plan for the day. 1. get off work and drink till Monday. 2.figure the rest out later

   Thank God It's Monday" ~ Your Liver

   I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.

   been married for 20 years and has sex almost every day....almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday.....

   that I have been married for 21 years andwe have had $ex almost everyday....almost Monday,almost Tuesday,almost Wednesday.....

   Happy Saturday… the day you can put as much booze into your coffee as you'd like to put in on Monday.

   Had a great weekend, now Monday just like always comes and steps in and ruins it