love Funny Status Messages

   He’s a one eyed optometrist with a cauliflower addiction. She hunts babies for sport. But could a chance Christmas encounter mean a forever love blossoms. Find out this Saturday on The Hallmark Channel.

   I'm going to my girlfriend's house to make mad, passionate love to her. Then have her fix us something to eat. That's what's meant by bed and breakfast, right?

   One day, I would love to visit the state of JOEgia.

   “I love you but I don’t trust you,” I say to my dog as I put cheese and crackers on the table.

   Legally changing my name to Pumpkin Spice Latte so my wife will love me more.

   I love Bruce Lee because he studied art and poetry and decided the most beautiful form of self expression is punching someone in the face

   Joe B. to wife: I’d love to go to the mall with you honey, but the court order says I can’t come within 50 feet of any mannequins.

   It’s fun finding love notes my wife hides around the house, it would be even better if they were for me

   Marriage Counsellor: last week I asked you to come up with 3 things you love about each other. Me: I need an extension.

   Love how I can remember the lyrics to just about any song written in the 70s but can't remember where I laid my car keys down last night?

   2020 love life: The washing machine has seen me naked more often than anyone else.

   I love to change the world but I don't know what to do, so I leave it up to you to wear a mask. Ten Years After,

   If you love a socialite set them free, if they come back to you be careful as they might have been Coronavirus.

   It cost me $0 to cut you off and believe me, I love free stuff...

   Changing my name to ‘free unlimited high-speed wifi’ so everyone will love me.

   Whenever Kids Says Mummy I Love, Just Say Start Talking Because They Need Something

   I fell in love with a female electrician. …She was a real live wire and I took her ohm with me.

   I use to think that wearing masks was so ridiculous and lame. Now that I've seen him wear one, I love masks and I can get enough of them.

   Dogs are like unruly kids. The people who live with them love 'em. But they annoy the heII out of the rest of us.

   A Girl commented on my post, a guy replied, she replied again n they were abt 2 fall in Love so I deleted d post.