Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The pubs in Ireland are closed until Aug 10. Pubs in Ireland. So by all means lets open Cracker Barrel right now.

   Just heard that facebook is letting all their employees work from home which makes me wonder. Hey facebook you hiring?

   What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb...

   My biggest fear is getting a murder hornet stuck in my facemask as I shovel snow Saturday morning in May.

   Purell better be working on a combination sanitizer, and murder hornet repellent.

   Why put dry powdered sugar on French Toast when the good Lord created Log Cabin syrup?

   I think I have this figured out .... politicians are a bunch of rich people convincing poor people to vote for the rich people by telling the poor people that the "Other" rich people are the reason they are poor

   Breaking news .. Trump declares murder hornets to be a hoax ... fake news!

   Pretty wild how we used to eat cake after sum1 had blown on it..Good times

   Mandatory !! All mask must be worn with capes!

   Think I've spent half the time I've been staying home due to the Coronavirus just scrolling looking for something to watch on Netflix.

   And on the second day of the flood, Moses wrote : Captains Log ; Unicorn stew is the Best food ever !

   Somewhere out there, is an English teacher waiting 4 school to reopen so that she can give students an essay topic how I spend my lockdown

   Happy Mothers Day, the day after

   if the horse track doesn't open soon, I'm going to lose the only math I remember

   my left ovary feels sore. like it was working out. I guess I would say its ovary active.

   Forced homeschooling has taught me I had way too many kids.

   Nobody drops pianos on people like they used to and that’s a shame.

   “How was your day mom?” is teenager for I need something that costs money.

   I just put a bra on for the first time in a week and nearly dislocated my shoulder.