Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5932 of 6371
life is like a box of coco. Not a box of chocolate, a box of coco. Why? Everything comes in stupid make-it- yourself kits! >:(
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05-11-2010 04:16
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What kind of bees produce milk? B O O B I E S ( . )( . )
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05-11-2010 03:53
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likes the 80's too, but ur not going to catch me snorting blow off the hood of a DeLorean!
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05-11-2010 01:44
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reading Come On In! by Doris Open
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05-11-2010 00:22
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Loading Swag... ████████████████ 100% Complete
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05-11-2010 00:19
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told my husband, if you don't become more mature, you are going to erect a wall between us, he said hahahaha you said erect!!
wonders if when the inventor of the bong came up with the idea, did a black light appear above his head?
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05-10-2010 22:44 by Jay
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Obama, I voted for you. I stay open minded on your views about education and health care even though I don't agree with everything. I am american and you're my president. Dude, you mess with my Xbox and iphone and that's it! You're off my friends list!
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05-10-2010 21:53
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saw that the actress who plays Ginny Weasley and the actor who plays Jasper Hale are engaged. Way to try and end the Harry Potter/Twilight fued.
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05-10-2010 21:35
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Did I just use bacon as a verb?
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05-10-2010 20:10 by Bonnie
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Lawrence Taylor quote: "I'm not a rapist but I did stay at a holiday inn express last night"
likes to go to the local pet store, find the most innocent looking clerk and ask "where are all the bi*-ches at?"
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05-10-2010 19:25 by JohnE
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The bank called me because of suspicious activity on my debit card. I couldn't believe I bought a gym membership either
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05-10-2010 18:55 by Craig
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My new checks all have trampolines on them. Just so bill collectors know they may bounce!
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05-10-2010 18:37
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Yes, "facebooking" IS an action verb. Along with googling, tweeting and farmvillin'.
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05-10-2010 18:23 by Tracy
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Just seen the Facebook group: "I wish my laptop had unlimited battery".What, a plug?
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05-10-2010 18:20 by sellers
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Police are such idiots. I got pulled over the other day for weaving. I can't even sew, let alone weave, especially when I'm pissed!!
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05-10-2010 18:03
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My wife told me that she was seeing someone else because she was fed up with my bad habits. I nearly choked on my toenail
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05-10-2010 18:02
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used to play sports. Then I realised that you can buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything!
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05-10-2010 18:01
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was driving past the woods today and saw a group of bird watchers, so I flipped them the bird.
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05-10-2010 17:56
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