Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5881 of 6370
On a walk, my stepdaughter saw a pay phone, asked what it was. I made him look it up on his Blackberry.
←Rate |
06-02-2010 14:17 by Joser
Comments (0)
I use really strong sunblock. It's SPF 100. I squeeze the tube and a sweater comes out.
←Rate |
06-02-2010 14:16 by Joser
Comments (0)
How come so many people Roll On The Floor *Laughing*? If I'm rolling on the floor, it's usually because I'm on fire. Send help.
←Rate |
06-02-2010 14:13 by Joser
Comments (0)
If age is just a number, can I get mine unlisted?
←Rate |
06-02-2010 14:12 by Joser
Comments (0)
I can't believe I paid $6 for diahrea thanks Taco Bell!
I always confuse the words exotic and erotic. That made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.
I can never remember whether or not I'm supposed to mess with Texas.
←Rate |
06-02-2010 14:05 by Joser
Comments (0)
Match.com says it's responsible for more dates leading to marriages that any other online site. And yet, it has no warning label.
←Rate |
06-02-2010 14:04 by Joser
Comments (0)
The fine print on Krazy Glue reads, "The only two things this product will successfully attach are your fingers and this tube."
←Rate |
06-02-2010 14:03 by Joser
Comments (0)
Only spell it "errbody" if literally each person in the club is gettin tipsy.
←Rate |
06-02-2010 14:02 by Joser
Comments (0)
making love to your pregnant wife is like putting gas in a car you've already wrecked.
←Rate |
06-02-2010 13:12 by Tracy
Comments (2)
on a seefood diet,,,, I see food and eat it
←Rate |
06-02-2010 12:34
Comments (0)
I don't think of Canada as a different country, I think of it more like, America's Hat, because they've always got us covered. Same goes for Mexico, I think of them as Americas Legs, because without them, none of the labor would get done.
in the last stall of the men's/women's bathroom at the library. Could someone please bring me some toilet paper?!
Two eyebrows are better than one.
←Rate |
06-02-2010 12:05 by @TeeWuu86
Comments (0)
trying to figure out where deleted data off your mobile phone goes...?
←Rate |
06-02-2010 11:16
Comments (2)
I bought a dog and named him Stay. Poor thing gets confused when I call him "Come here,Stay!" "Come here,Stay!"
constantly amazed at how peoples lips keep moving when they are talking through their arses !!!
←Rate |
06-02-2010 09:43
Comments (0)
The Chinese are so advanced in technology, that they are already selling "Fifa World Cup 2010, South Africa - All the goals and highlights"
←Rate |
06-02-2010 09:00 by Mduduzi
Comments (0)
If the world were a logical place, men would ride sidesaddle.
←Rate |
06-02-2010 08:01
Comments (0)