Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5866 of 6370
When asked "What would you bring with you to a deserted island", how come no one ever replies, "A boat."?
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06-08-2010 17:44 by Joser
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With all the technology available now, you'd think they'd have found a way to grow apples without those little stickers.
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06-08-2010 17:42 by Joser
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Sunburn is only a laughing matter when it happens to someone else.
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06-08-2010 17:39 by Joser
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how many hijackings with nail clippers and shampoo have there been? None, that's how many!
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06-08-2010 17:38 by Joser
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If the show is called America's Got Talent, how come Howie Mandel is hosting it?
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06-08-2010 17:38 by Joser
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A key ring is a handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.
She has a million dollar figure. But the top half is counterfeit.
Never tell a dyslexic to cop a feel. Either way, they'll get hurt.
Relly hopes the weekend comes as quick as some of her exes
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06-08-2010 14:23
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- Definition of Keyring---A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your f**king keys at once.....
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06-08-2010 14:19 by Y.P
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In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence
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06-08-2010 14:04 by @seddy90
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Bing is a great website, for internet searches. I know this, because I Googled it.
Why is it, "A penny for your thoughts," but, "you have to put your two cents in?" Somebody's making a penny
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06-08-2010 13:52 by @seddy90
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filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?
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06-08-2010 13:31 by @seddy90
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attempting to give a fuck: ███████████████████] 99% Complete... ERROR!: Unable to give a fuck.
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06-08-2010 13:19
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found a dead lizard on the back porch...apparently, a reptile dysfunction.
So where are all the "Save the Gulf" concerts? We can send bjillions to Haiti but forget the working folks in the Gulf, eh?
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06-08-2010 12:51
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Don't hold onto anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love !
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06-08-2010 12:40
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Why do all Mexican restaurants serve Pepsi and not Coke?
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06-08-2010 12:33 by Leeferd
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Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
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06-08-2010 11:33 by @seddy90
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