An yank walked into an English pub and asked for a pint of Bud.The barman replied "You're American aren't you?" The man says, "Yeah. Could you tell by the drink I ordered?"The barman replied. "Neither, you are the fattest f**k I have ever seen”
Dear Friday: You have been gone all week, no visit, no call, no nothing. For some reason your absense doesn't bother me, I am glad to see you again...so is my liver, Cheers!