Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I don't know what to do now that we're apart; I don't know how to live without the other half of my heart......
←Rate | 08-11-2009 04:18 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else......
←Rate | 08-11-2009 04:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.......
←Rate | 08-11-2009 04:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people............
←Rate | 08-11-2009 04:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.....
←Rate | 08-11-2009 04:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't let someone become your everything, because when they're gone you have nothing!!!!!
←Rate | 08-11-2009 04:16 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life is for living, I live for you. Dreams are for dreaming I dream for you. Hearts are for beating Mine beats for you. Angels are for keeping Can I keep you?
←Rate | 08-11-2009 04:16 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway.......
←Rate | 08-11-2009 04:15 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon tired of counting down to the next weekend or vacation so.... only 18,245 days until retirement. Take that society!
←Rate | 08-10-2009 23:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering whats so great about "bees knees"
←Rate | 08-10-2009 23:17 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon eat your profile views and comments up. They'll make you big and popular because at the end of the day nobody's gonna give a damn right?........right.
←Rate | 08-10-2009 19:51 by Danmanz | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon its funny how guys show off their muscles just to get girls attention, but never show off brains.
←Rate | 08-10-2009 19:48 by Danmanz | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon loving that 170 lbs I lost when you left.. not only do I look better.. I dont have your extra weight to carry around!
←Rate | 08-10-2009 16:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinking why did I ever doubt myself?.. You came along and reassured me of how great I am..thanks loser!
←Rate | 08-10-2009 16:20 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon is learning that there is a book on stupid, jealous, psychotic tendencies in trying to be like your mans x's. I knew it.. I knew someone had to give her directions!!
←Rate | 08-10-2009 16:16 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon drunk dialing but luckily my mom stopped me. Thanks MADD (motha's against drunk dialing)
←Rate | 08-10-2009 14:19 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon made my car into a hybrid by siphoning gas out of your tank.
←Rate | 08-10-2009 14:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon weaving a blanket from bellybutton fluff...where does this stuff come from?
←Rate | 08-10-2009 14:17 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon off like a prom dress.
←Rate | 08-10-2009 14:16 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon noticed your mother has been calling me a lot, wondering whats that about?
←Rate | 08-10-2009 14:15 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

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