Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon wants Angelina to adopt her so she can call Brad daddy...
←Rate | 09-27-2009 01:02 by PJM | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon buying flannel and becoming a lesbian
←Rate | 09-27-2009 00:59 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon it's not that I don't stalk you; it's just that I'm really good at it, so you don't notice.
←Rate | 09-26-2009 13:55 by David E | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Jesus is on Twitter, but unfortunately he's only got twelve followers.
←Rate | 09-26-2009 11:52 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Two guys came knocking at my door once and said: "We want to talk to you about Jesus." I said: "Oh, no, what's he done now?"
←Rate | 09-26-2009 11:50 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
←Rate | 09-26-2009 11:49 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
←Rate | 09-26-2009 07:37 by Nate Comments (0)  

   messageicon at Starbucks in Iraq with his friends. Wait, this isn't Starbucks, and those aren't my friends.
←Rate | 09-26-2009 04:11 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon refuses to get his pizza from Pappa Johns anymore after finding out what he did to Mackenzie Phllips
←Rate | 09-25-2009 21:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon at the Video Music Awards on her mobile ...ihg32h9gj0fk0kfkkkkkkfmmnnn273fbf111... ...FOR F*** SAKE KANYE LET GO OF THE KEYBOARD!
←Rate | 09-25-2009 20:00 by jojo Comments (0)  

   messageicon finds counting spiders on the ceiling does not put you to sleep.
←Rate | 09-25-2009 16:11 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon went to a baseball game yesterday with my new girlfriend. We played a game where I would kiss her on the strikes, and she would kiss me on the...
←Rate | 09-25-2009 15:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon loves squirrels... natures speed bumps
←Rate | 09-25-2009 14:26 by blakeyboo | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you don't like gay people... blame the str8 people...they're the ones who keep having gay babies.
←Rate | 09-25-2009 12:58 by Graydon Comments (0)  

   messageicon if God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!!!
←Rate | 09-25-2009 11:07 by SCURRY | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thinks it's funny to watch people who drive Hummers, swerve to avoid potholes
←Rate | 09-25-2009 06:02 by Hunter Comments (0)  

   messageicon "the greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source." George Washington
←Rate | 09-24-2009 23:51 by Daniel Heck Comments (1)  

   messageicon just dropped skittles in the toilet and flushed....... it was like a 10 second Nascar race
←Rate | 09-24-2009 23:25 by TK Comments (0)  

   messageicon has decided his unmade bed is art in another medium and should not destroy it!!
←Rate | 09-24-2009 23:18 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tommorow I am going to finish every conversation with "ACCORDING TO THE PROPHECIES"
←Rate | 09-24-2009 21:02 by Daniel Comments (0)  

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