Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5822 of 6369
I'm a homophobophobe. Seriously, those bigots scare the heck out of me.
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06-26-2010 14:24 by Joser
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Dear DNA experts, please come up with a small insect that is genetically designed to annoy flies. Maybe even a small insect that bites mosquitoes. Thanks
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06-26-2010 14:24 by Joser
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Babe, You Remind of Barbie's Malibu Beach House,.. Everything is for Looks and Nothing Works!"
My inability to use emoticons correctly is really getting me down :)
Breed a Labrador Retriever with a Curly Coated Retriever and you get a Lab Coat Retriever. The choice of medical professionals everywhere.
This status was sent from inside the Channel Tunnel. Try that on your precious iPhones.
If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
I got a mosquito bite last night... Bet that little guy is pretty hungover today.
A dog is man's best friend. In some states, they're friends with benefits.
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06-26-2010 09:26 by Leeferd
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**shortest fairly tale**-->once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "will you marry me?" The girl said "NO!" The guy lived happily ever after..
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06-26-2010 08:04
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97% of people would scream if they saw justin bieber about to jump of a sky scraper 3% would sit in a chair with popcorn and yell "do a flip"
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06-26-2010 07:43
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wondering if practice makes perfect and nobody is perfect, what the point of trying
Women cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their balls ... because they can
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06-26-2010 05:38 by laurent
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So tired of these new gadgets and the companies trying to monopolize the programs, I am going back to my pencil and a piece of paper!!!
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06-26-2010 00:56
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If you're happy and you know it...share your meds.
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06-25-2010 22:16
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Whoever has the most Facebook friends when he dies WINS
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06-25-2010 20:23
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wondering why cameras have round lenses that take square pictures.
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06-25-2010 19:41 by markf
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in a constant state of Omphaloskepsis (look it up).
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06-25-2010 19:11 by Joser
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Switched my GPS to the male voice. Got tired of it announcing turns after we'd passed them and telling me to stop and ask for directions.
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06-25-2010 19:09 by Joser
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The difference between the local school and local prison?The Address and The tolerance of phone calls
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06-25-2010 18:53
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