Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy candy at the store, I'll drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.
←Rate | 06-18-2009 15:33 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just overheard someone use the phrase, "I don't have all day." I'm sitting here thinking, "How could you not have all day? We all get the same 24 hours, dont we?"
←Rate | 06-18-2009 15:32 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon i have my grandmothers heart, my grandfathers strength, my mothers looks and my fathers structure and thats why I am unique in every way! =]
←Rate | 06-18-2009 15:04 by AMBER MACE | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon against picketing, but doesn't know how to show it.
←Rate | 06-18-2009 13:21 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon eating at Jesus'...today's special...unlimited bread and fish!
←Rate | 06-18-2009 13:12 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon messing about with google maps..still giggling cos theres alot of Beaver in america, some small...some huge!!.
←Rate | 06-18-2009 10:52 by roon | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
←Rate | 06-18-2009 08:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to wear underwear on the outside of his clothes tomorrow to see if people assume he's crazy, or a superhero.
←Rate | 06-18-2009 03:04 by Ron Comments (0)  


   messageicon helping chinese people name their newborn babies by knocking a tin can down the stairs
←Rate | 06-18-2009 01:43 by Lee | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon feels sorry for the rabbitt who nevers gets trix - it just proves kids are mean to animals!!
←Rate | 06-18-2009 01:15 by vamplovr | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon making sure he doesn't drink and drive. He might spill his beer.
←Rate | 06-17-2009 18:03 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an idiot
←Rate | 06-17-2009 16:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon coo coo for Cocoa Puffs
←Rate | 06-17-2009 15:51 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon When it comes to driving, anybody going slower than me is an idiot, and anyone going faster than me is a maniac.
←Rate | 06-17-2009 10:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon you`ll notice after reading this notice, that this notice isn`t worth noticing
←Rate | 06-17-2009 09:16 by Dragon-King Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders why, if vegetarian food tastes so good, do they keep eating Turkey-flavored this, Sausage-like that, and Meat-like Balls Marinara?
←Rate | 06-17-2009 09:15 by Dragon-King Comments (0)  


   messageicon No trees were harmed in the posting of this Facebook status, but several million electrons were mildly inconvenienced.
←Rate | 06-17-2009 09:15 by Dragon-King Comments (0)  


   messageicon experiencing life at a rate of several WTF's a minute
←Rate | 06-17-2009 09:12 by Dragon-King | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon will not be your emotional tampon
←Rate | 06-16-2009 22:07 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking if you give a person a fish you feed them for a day, teach a person to use facebook and they won't bother you for weeks.
←Rate | 06-16-2009 22:00 Comments (0)  


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