Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon contemplating the beauty of the earth and finding reserves of strength, despite the knowledge that Humans are stupid creatures.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 10:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon so adjective, she verbs nouns
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon just passed a Liopleurodon on her way to Candy Mountain.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon hosting a seminar with noted Theoretical Physicist, Stephen Hawking. The subject of the seminar is TIME TRAVEL with emphasis on theorems regarding singularities in the framework of general relativity. Please RSVP. Our first meeting will be last week.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon in a relationship with Maxwell House. It's complicated.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon letting everyone know in advance that I want something shiny that will go from 0 to 120 in 3 seconds for Christmas... and bathroom scales WILL NOT be accepted.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon would be unstoppable if she could just get started.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon doesn't want a happy ending... that implies something has to end. I want a fantastic right now! :D
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon says Real Men of Genius....Today we salute you, Mr. Compulsive Status Update Checker.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and, consequently, I will never be ending an important email with the phrase "Regards" again.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon had big dreams as a little kid... now they're HUGE!!! :)
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:27 by Chachita Comments (0)  

   messageicon that we need to stop the insanity by not drinking more of that hatorade!
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon WAIT!... I'm still Loading ████████████ 99%
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My grandmother has false teeth. I can't believe a word she says.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 08:36 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon always proof read to make sure you dont any of the words out
←Rate | 11-04-2009 06:56 by snapper Comments (0)  

   messageicon The wheel is still spinning but the hamster died.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 02:03 by 8) Comments (0)  

   messageicon This status update is brought to you by your drug addiction to facebook.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 01:57 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon youre so ugly just after you were was born, your mother said, "What a treasure!" and your father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"
←Rate | 11-04-2009 01:46 by 8) Comments (0)  

   messageicon If racism never existed, what do you get?.......Smarter people for one.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 01:32 Comments (0)  

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