Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Hey dude... There's your car!
←Rate | 09-20-2009 21:20 by Kal-El Comments (0)  

   messageicon wishes you were beer
←Rate | 09-20-2009 20:20 by LB Comments (0)  

   messageicon would like to observe a moment of silence for all the innocent brain cells that lost their lives over the weekend.
←Rate | 09-20-2009 20:20 by LB Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks if ballrina's were jusy a little taller, they wouln't have to dance on their tippy toe's as much!
←Rate | 09-20-2009 12:07 by Lazlow Thrust Comments (0)  

   messageicon One day three old ladies were sitting on a park bench and this guy jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.The first lady had a stroke, the second one had a stroke, but the third one's arm was too short to reach.
←Rate | 09-20-2009 10:23 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? Its not hard.
←Rate | 09-20-2009 10:20 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks real men should never say the words "sippy cup".
←Rate | 09-20-2009 08:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks it would really help Jennifer Anniston's career if she would star in a few romantic comedies.
←Rate | 09-20-2009 08:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon reminds you that people will believe anything if it's whispered.
←Rate | 09-20-2009 08:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon saw Mike Tyson at the airport, I thought about going over to talk to him but I was concerned he would just take an earful and then leave.............
←Rate | 09-19-2009 12:18 by Vance Comments (0)  

   messageicon not broke..he is financially challenged!
←Rate | 09-19-2009 07:23 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon can't help think that Christianity is based on one woman's affair, where her cover up story got out of hand..........
←Rate | 09-19-2009 07:22 by deithy | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Balancing on my hands with a Vodka bottle in my rear and awaiting the intoxication
←Rate | 09-19-2009 06:55 by Temocin | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon a woman was found dead at her home last night. Cause of death was Twittering. Apparently she had too many followers(stalkers).
←Rate | 09-19-2009 00:42 by Danmanz | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon remembers when "google" was a word used to describe the eyes on pom-pom critters back in grade school!
←Rate | 09-18-2009 22:43 by Jewish Phil Comments (0)  

   messageicon life is like the Mets I just can't win
←Rate | 09-18-2009 21:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon playing hide and seek with Osama Bin Laden. Damb he's good.
←Rate | 09-18-2009 21:37 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sushi is raw fish? And you people eat this? We're supposed to be better than the penguins. BETTER THAN THE PENGUINS!
←Rate | 09-18-2009 19:25 by Brad R. | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon you can lose money chasing after a girl, but you can never lose a girl chasing after money.
←Rate | 09-18-2009 18:22 by mikail | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon running dangerously low on cheetos
←Rate | 09-18-2009 16:04 by Ashden Ras Comments (0)  

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