Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Social Networking is like Judaism based religions. 1st was Myspace, difficult to understand and these days they think there"special." 2nd came facebook; full of Hypocrites and false dreams. Lastly came Twitter; rarely understood by many and hated by most
←Rate | 07-07-2010 21:10 by Tracy Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that a couch in a nudist colony has to smell like ass.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 20:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What happened to Swine Flu?
←Rate | 07-07-2010 20:40 by Hetfield Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation
←Rate | 07-07-2010 20:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what a camel thinks of when he looks at his toe...
←Rate | 07-07-2010 20:32 by mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm putting out my own sex tape. Sure, it's only duct tape, but you can use it for sex too.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 19:41 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't care how many dirty looks he gets, he thinks it's funny when his 3 year old flubs up something in public and goes "Oh, Jesus Cwist!".
←Rate | 07-07-2010 19:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've missed you guys like a retard misses the point.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 18:42 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm never getting married. After learning another Bachelorette couple has split, I simply don't know what love is anymore.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 18:42 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lingerie is just expensive wrapping paper.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 18:41 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You look like you work out", said no one, to me.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:53 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon headed out for a quiet beer. Followed by ten noisy ones...
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon it's impossible to fool-proof anything because fools are so ingenious.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon there are more important things in life than money. The trouble is, they all cost money.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:51 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon a bartender is just an under-qualified pharmacist.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:50 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A procrastinator's work is never done.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:44 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what the word for dots looks like in braille
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like ‘Huh? What the hell is this?', but if it's in a fruit basket you're like ‘
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks the digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You may be out of my sight... but never out of my mind... I Miss You!
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:04 by Ohio Comments (0)  




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