Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Upon learning about the death of his idol Charles Manson, Chuck Schumer wept and was quoted, "He taught me all that I know!"
←Rate | 11-20-2017 19:10 by Willabeman Comments (2)  


   messageicon Gary Hinman, Sharon Tate, Jay Sebring, Abigail Folger, Wojciech Frykowski, Stephen Parent, Leno LaBianca and Rosemary LaBianca. Hopefully their families have a little peace tonight. There's a little less evil in world.
←Rate | 11-20-2017 21:05 by Nene Comments (1)  


   messageicon If Charles Manson doesn’t bust hell wide open I don’t know who will.
←Rate | 11-20-2017 21:10 by Estabien Comments (0)  


   messageicon White house report: Trump to pardon himself this week........ oh ! My mistake, it's a real turkey to be pardon.
←Rate | 11-20-2017 22:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your posts are going viral, just like herpes.
←Rate | 11-20-2017 22:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you open your mouth about Trump, try to understand. No One Likes You.
←Rate | 11-20-2017 22:58 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Holy crap! With all these famous people getting the skeletons pulled out of their closets, I'm starting to feel like a saint.
←Rate | 11-20-2017 23:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump is telling 59,000 Haitians, currently living legally in the United States, to self-deport. Whats even more mind boggling is you people see nothing wrong with that? Why is he on a mission to target blacks???
←Rate | 11-21-2017 00:11 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Of course you can use bacon grease as furniture polish. *licks coffee table*
←Rate | 11-21-2017 00:11 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure hope no one has high expectations of me today.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 00:13 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Trump dies one good deed and he wants an Oscar for his performance. Whatever happened to staying humble?
←Rate | 11-21-2017 00:18 Comments (1)  


   messageicon So much for the party of family values. Republicans have now re-branded as the party of child molesters.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 00:20 Comments (4)  


   messageicon Ugh. None of my Facebook friends have accepted my "Take Seven B&W Pictures of Your Life Print them Poster-Size, Tint them with Watercolors, Scan Them, Increase Vibrance by 50% then Post Each One with a 3-Word Description Challenge".
←Rate | 11-21-2017 05:03 by unknowncomic Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you could cross a centipede with a turkey you would have enough turkey legs for everyone.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 07:44 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I get coffee at Starbucks and the guy asks me my name I read his name tag and say his name and then he's like "Nooo wayy! That's my name too!" and I go like "Nooo wayy!" and I always think I'll get something free but I don't.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 07:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After watching Lavar Ball I know know why his son steals and thinks he is entitle .
←Rate | 11-21-2017 09:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After the Lavar Ball incidence, I now understand why Trump hates blacks.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 11:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My cat has a fun new game called Catch & Release.. It catches the mice outside and brings them into the house and releases them.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 12:06 by Mic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pro tip: Use Shazam in your Uber to blow your drivers mind with your knowledge of their obscure immigrant music.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 13:09 by AkeelyMac Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sales of sexbots have been skyrocketing. I wonder if they make an underage one? That's gonna be the hot seller among Hollywood and Democrats.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 15:28 by TallMtnMan Comments (4)  




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