Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon starting to think Brett Favre switched places with mother nature, the weather seems very indecisive lately........
←Rate | 10-23-2009 12:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon came from a real tough neighborhood. I once put my hand in some freshly layed cement and felt another hand.
←Rate | 10-23-2009 11:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 's girlfriend asked him to lay under the coffee table with the glass top. Wonder what she's gonna do??
←Rate | 10-23-2009 11:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I got along fine before I knew you. I'll get along find after.
←Rate | 10-23-2009 10:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't wanna move in for a month. I just wanna buy you a beer.
←Rate | 10-23-2009 10:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon murdering your spouse within the first year of marriage can really put a strain on the relationship.
←Rate | 10-23-2009 10:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon How to annoy people: Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy".
←Rate | 10-23-2009 10:26 by G. Comments (0)  

   messageicon ǝǝɹʇ ɐ ɯoɹɟ ƃuıƃuɐɥ sı
←Rate | 10-23-2009 09:12 by Natalie Fryer Comments (0)  

   messageicon Once had an awkward moment just to see how it felt
←Rate | 10-23-2009 05:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Stuck on Band-Aid brand cause Band-Aid Stuck on me.
←Rate | 10-23-2009 02:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon that anyone caught taking a photo of themselves in a mirror, shall be slapped...
←Rate | 10-23-2009 02:15 by 8 ) Comments (0)  

   messageicon has two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
←Rate | 10-23-2009 00:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wants to get on the wagon, but the 15 vodkas are making it mildly difficult!
←Rate | 10-22-2009 22:54 by Mr. Craig Comments (0)  

   messageicon 99% of women say they don't like men who wear leather pants. Which works out perfectly, since 100% of men who wear leather pants don't like Women.
←Rate | 10-22-2009 22:10 by mikedft Comments (0)  

   messageicon giving my liver a pat on the back, thanks for holding up this weekend
←Rate | 10-22-2009 20:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon saving the planet by tailgating his Silverado behind a Prius.
←Rate | 10-22-2009 20:42 by Piney Comments (0)  

   messageicon ɐɥɐɥ ˙snʇɐʇs uʍop ǝpısdn ʎɯ ʎq pǝʇɐuıɔsɐɟ ǝɹɐ noʎ ʇɐɥʇ ʇɔɐɟ ǝɥʇ uɐ
←Rate | 10-22-2009 20:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Almost" and the "same" are almost the same thing!
←Rate | 10-22-2009 20:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon you may have won this stare contest... SUN! But I'll definitely be triumphant tomorrow! time for the moon
←Rate | 10-22-2009 20:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon says eat your school, stay in drugs, and don't do vegetables. :]
←Rate | 10-22-2009 19:57 by Comments (0)  

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