Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon will write you a love song unlike that Sara Bareilles b**ch
←Rate | 05-21-2009 09:40 by matt Comments (0)  

   messageicon believes : Early to bed,early to rise.....and your girl goes out with other guys.
←Rate | 05-21-2009 08:30 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon like Houdini . . . uses a lot of trap doors in his acts, but I think i'm just going through a stage.
←Rate | 05-21-2009 08:29 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon stuck in the moment - well it is actually more like wedged. I think I may need an advanced escape maneuver. So glad I have that Special Forces training to fall back on in these situations.....
←Rate | 05-21-2009 06:49 by MaryEllen Comments (0)  

   messageicon going to use this status as a letter to guys. If you use a picture of yourself without a shirt, "flexing" as your profile pic....You're officially a jackass.
←Rate | 05-21-2009 04:00 by Ron | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon I want a new Drug. One that won't hurt my head. One that won't make my mouth too dry. Or make my eyes too red
←Rate | 05-21-2009 03:42 by Jenny ( Huey Lewis) Comments (0)  

   messageicon News update! "Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery!"
←Rate | 05-21-2009 03:18 by JonathanMC Comments (0)  

   messageicon sooooo skint she is off to KFC to lick everyone else's fingers....again. ♥
←Rate | 05-20-2009 19:22 by joanne | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just been to the gym and there's a new machine there. I only used it for about an hour, as I started to feel sick, but it's great: it's got KitKats, Mars bars, crisps and everything in it
←Rate | 05-20-2009 19:19 by joanne | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect
←Rate | 05-20-2009 16:47 by Robert Bell Comments (0)  

   messageicon kissed a girl, and he liked it...and blames Katy Perry for his imprisonment. She didn't say anything about asking permission.
←Rate | 05-20-2009 14:52 by Pissed Off Comments (0)  

   messageicon contributing to global warming by breathing as he rides his bike to school...some conservationist!
←Rate | 05-20-2009 13:53 by JRazz Comments (0)  

   messageicon intended for mature audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.
←Rate | 05-20-2009 12:49 by Manny Comments (0)  

   messageicon never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry. Never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
←Rate | 05-20-2009 10:27 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon calculating pi but can't seem to make it past sugar cream
←Rate | 05-20-2009 08:34 by Dragon-King Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders how skinny he would be if he had to pedal to keep the computer on.
←Rate | 05-20-2009 08:33 by Dragon-King Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks that friends help you move but real friends help you move bodies.
←Rate | 05-20-2009 02:52 by Jonathanmc | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon running with scissors and playing with matches...
←Rate | 05-20-2009 00:32 by Icy Comments (0)  

   messageicon increasing his carbon footprint so that it is visible from space.
←Rate | 05-19-2009 23:21 by Charlie C Comments (0)  

   messageicon M.I.L.F. Man, I Love Funyuns!
←Rate | 05-19-2009 22:49 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

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