Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon dreamd last night that he is perfect. Than he woke up and realized that s reality
←Rate | 08-25-2009 15:17 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon throwing away his rollover minutes because they're a month old.
←Rate | 08-25-2009 15:11 by Edward M | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?
←Rate | 08-25-2009 14:53 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon just gotten an email stating that I had won the Nigerian lottery! I just left the post office to send off my 1500 dollar processing fee and I'll be on a beach in the Bahama's in no time, SUCKAS!
←Rate | 08-25-2009 13:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon she is too tired to be clever for her status.
←Rate | 08-25-2009 12:57 by Kristy Lynn Comments (0)  


   messageicon I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
←Rate | 08-25-2009 11:35 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon forget peace give squirels a chance
←Rate | 08-25-2009 08:53 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon just not that into you, Monday
←Rate | 08-25-2009 07:45 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon working for the weekend
←Rate | 08-25-2009 07:45 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do me for tena
←Rate | 08-24-2009 18:41 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon so great that he does'nt get murdered, he gets assassinated.
←Rate | 08-24-2009 18:28 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Duck,Duck,Duck,Duck... goose! Pinecone! I win!
←Rate | 08-24-2009 16:33 by Drufix,Guthix,Zuthix | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am slayer of dragons, sudcer of women and eater of gold fish crakers!
←Rate | 08-24-2009 16:25 by Gonthornian | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon trying really hard not to make eye contact with the monstrosity of a woman I had a drunken hookup with. . .
←Rate | 08-24-2009 16:15 by Yaj | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead.
←Rate | 08-24-2009 15:39 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield. 3.14159265 dead.
←Rate | 08-24-2009 15:35 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon having pink taco's for dinner
←Rate | 08-24-2009 15:16 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon reading a book on the history of glue. and can't put it down
←Rate | 08-24-2009 14:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks Laziness is the mother of all vice...but its a mother & you should respect her!!!
←Rate | 08-24-2009 14:41 by Rohil | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if cops ever get pi$$ed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
←Rate | 08-24-2009 12:34 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


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