Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon gonna party like it's 1929.
←Rate | 10-15-2009 22:59 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon When someone is waiting for you to leave so they can take your parking spot: 1) Pretent to turn key. 2) Exit car. 3) Open hood and look frustrated.
←Rate | 10-15-2009 22:35 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon cant believe its not butter
←Rate | 10-15-2009 21:35 by manoftroy Comments (0)  

   messageicon suddenly has an urge to go for a balloon ride over Colorado.
←Rate | 10-15-2009 20:42 by mark1965 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What have a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken got in common, By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have is a Hot Stinky Box to throw your bone in.
←Rate | 10-15-2009 19:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship!
←Rate | 10-15-2009 18:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon in the balloon. It was supposed to be a secret mission.
←Rate | 10-15-2009 18:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon certaintly.. not in a balloon at this moment
←Rate | 10-15-2009 16:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some call it Murder....I call it Annulment by Vacation on a Cruise ship......
←Rate | 10-15-2009 15:43 by Daniel S Comments (0)  

   messageicon my blond sister jus texted me and asked what does "idk" stand for? I said I dont know. she said OMG! nobody does!
←Rate | 10-15-2009 14:05 by sellers82 Comments (0)  

   messageicon the coolest thing to hit the street since´╗┐ ice
←Rate | 10-15-2009 13:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wishes I could measure how much of my life has passed me by while I played with my iPhone. . . Maybe there's an app for that.
←Rate | 10-15-2009 13:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders why people think squirrels are cute. They are after all, a rodent like a rat except they have a fuzzy tale.
←Rate | 10-15-2009 13:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Due to an increasing number of terrified friends, I'm going to have to change my profile picture !!!
←Rate | 10-15-2009 11:50 by Marjan Comments (0)  

   messageicon loves to go to Washington - if only to be near his money.
←Rate | 10-15-2009 08:27 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks it's unbelievable how pretentious some cat owners are. I could never be like that with my Dostoevsky!
←Rate | 10-15-2009 07:06 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon has just got back from the future...........You wouldn't believe how many blades they have on razors!
←Rate | 10-15-2009 07:04 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon not paranoid, but everyone thinks I am...
←Rate | 10-15-2009 06:57 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
←Rate | 10-15-2009 06:55 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
←Rate | 10-15-2009 06:54 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

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