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Wait till they realize that Frosty has no pants and smokes a pipe in front of children.
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12-11-2018 21:27
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My children want a cat for Christmas ... Normally I do a turkey but hey, if it can make them happy!
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12-11-2018 21:35
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Alexa, clean up my act!
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12-12-2018 06:09
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I have a moral compass, but it always seems to point south.
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12-12-2018 09:19
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"Baby it's cold outside" is bad because it's about a guy is trying to get laid. "Santa Baby" is ok because it's about a girl trying to screw Santa. Got it.
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12-13-2018 09:30
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I believe in Santa! but I'm not so sure if he believes in me?
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12-13-2018 12:02 by
Moon
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Ladies, stop waiting for a man to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job.
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12-13-2018 13:06
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I need a vacation that I may or may not ever come back from.
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12-13-2018 13:11 by
Kisstopher707
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Gas is $2.20 I dont know when the last time I pumped gas with no hands
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12-13-2018 19:03
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Somebody told me I should join Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in 2019. I said, naw. That's for quitters
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12-14-2018 02:15
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My grandfather use to say "Don't believe everything you hear." which was good advice...... Or was it ?
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12-14-2018 04:12 by
Joker
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Three things I'm grateful for, 1. Family 2. Friends 3. Caller ID to advoid family and friends.
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12-14-2018 04:19 by
Joker
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"This wall thing.... It's like a manhood thing with him.... as if manhood can be associated with him." Nancy Pelosi
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12-14-2018 06:41
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Why do we say that an alarm clock is going off when really it's coming on?
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12-14-2018 07:22
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Its beginning to look a lot like, I'm starting to get sick and tiered of it being cold and miserable out and I'm ready for summer!
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12-14-2018 11:39 by
Moon
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I'm ready for summer!
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12-14-2018 12:29
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"So this is Christmas, and what have you done?" The start of a John Lennon song, or the wife about to start an argument?
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12-14-2018 13:31 by
Truman
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Do bone spurs keep someone out of jail? I'm asking for a friend.
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12-14-2018 14:23 by
DJT
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FOUR STAGES OF A MANS LIFE : 1. You believe in santa. 2. You don't believe in santa. 3. You are santa. 4. You look like santa.
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12-14-2018 16:23 by
Stevielea
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Place aluminum foil in a paper shredder ... BOOM TINSEL !!
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12-14-2018 20:52 by
JCGJ
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