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Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
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07-31-2010 10:53
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sweating like a cat in an Asian deli.
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07-31-2010 10:18 by
HK
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What would I do for a Klondike Bar? Probably pay retail price... That's where I draw the line... and even then it's iffy.
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07-31-2010 09:45
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I have spend years pefecting the art of walking around my house in the dark. Now what I wanna know, is who the hell put that f*cking stool in the middle of the damn living room?!
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07-31-2010 09:39
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turns out "im fine" is girl speak for "im not fine"
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07-31-2010 09:36
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My friend told me they wouldn't mind trying human meat if the opportunity presented itself. Soooo, Guess who I'm not hanging out with anymore...
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07-31-2010 09:35
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I wish bugs understood the concept of personal space.
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07-31-2010 09:34
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The best part of waking up . . . is going back to sleep.
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07-31-2010 09:25
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Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.
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07-31-2010 09:24
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You never learn anything by doing it right.
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07-31-2010 09:21
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$100 says I don't have a gambling problem.
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07-31-2010 09:20
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All I want is some ketchup packets placed in the bag, without having to ask!
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07-31-2010 09:19
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Patience is not one of my virtues. Hell, what am I talking about? Virtue is not one of my virtues.
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07-31-2010 09:18
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While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
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07-31-2010 08:59
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making Holy Water by boiling the Hell out of it.
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07-31-2010 03:42 by
smeebert
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wonders if real mafia dudes sit around playing "Boring-ass normal people wars"?
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07-31-2010 01:24 by
Demon
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I was late to work, and my boss told me I should've been at work by 8:30 this morning. I asked him "why? what happened then?"
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07-31-2010 01:05 by
HOME
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If I were to go to hell, it would take at least a week to realize I wasn't at work.
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07-31-2010 01:04 by
HOME
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Hey, whats a four letter term used to call a woman ending in "unt"?......the answer is "Aunt"
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07-31-2010 00:26 by
Zack
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Ellen DeGeneres finds it hard to judge people and hurt their feeling so she is leaving American Idol. Producers have put in a call to Mel Gibson.
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07-30-2010 23:34
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