Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon wants you to give it up for his band Sexual Chocolate
←Rate | 11-18-2009 22:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon snappin necks and cashin checks
←Rate | 11-18-2009 21:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I Don't know how to have a good marriage. But I do know how to have a bad one. so I just wont do those things.
←Rate | 11-18-2009 20:46 by mteebow Comments (0)  

   messageicon A candy that starts off sour and then gets sweet?... Wow that sums up my girlfriend..
←Rate | 11-18-2009 20:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wants all his friends to know that your "save the endangered chipmunks or whatever" petition with 5000 signatures stops in my Inbox. You will never see your precious little email again!
←Rate | 11-18-2009 20:09 by Troy Roberson Comments (0)  

   messageicon ... Shut Up ... The World Won't End in 2012.
←Rate | 11-18-2009 19:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon can't believe he was snubbed again this year for "Sexiest Man Alive" title...Damn you Johnny Depp.
←Rate | 11-18-2009 19:22 by Todd Rollison Comments (0)  

   messageicon watching you change! P.S(you don't look that great naked)
←Rate | 11-18-2009 19:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon a godfather, that's a great thing to be,He calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught him that.
←Rate | 11-18-2009 18:50 by john ambler Comments (0)  

   messageicon I didn't get a toy train for xmas like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by
←Rate | 11-18-2009 18:43 by john ambler Comments (0)  

   messageicon put a leopard in a headlock. You now refer to this animal as the giraffe
←Rate | 11-18-2009 18:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that you don't add your boss on facebook and then post "Wow my boss' wife cooks a mean casserole" after you call in sick
←Rate | 11-18-2009 18:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon happier than Richard Simmons running backwards through a cornfield!
←Rate | 11-18-2009 17:48 by flounder Comments (0)  

   messageicon Twitter: Its just like being stranded on a "lonely" island and writing a small, meaningless message to be put in a bottle and thrown out to sea hoping somebody will write you back.
←Rate | 11-18-2009 17:43 by Danz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Here's a question: You ever wonder how many REAL friends you had before the whole Facebook, Myspace, & Twitter thing came into existence?.......You're wondering now.
←Rate | 11-18-2009 17:33 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon dont take a sleeping pill and a laxative before bed...
←Rate | 11-18-2009 16:06 by jaycubpaw Comments (0)  

   messageicon You boys stay off of my yard, there's no damn milkshakes there!
←Rate | 11-18-2009 15:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon loves when people say "I tell it like it is." Really? How about you tell it like it isn't just to shake things up a bit?
←Rate | 11-18-2009 14:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon its been proven that 6 out of 7 dwarfs arn't happy
←Rate | 11-18-2009 13:43 by blade Comments (0)  

   messageicon becames friends with the Pillsbury Doughboy just so I could poke him.
←Rate | 11-18-2009 12:33 Comments (0)  

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