Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon thinks Christmas must be near. Just found a partridge in one of the pear trees on Farmtown
←Rate | 12-17-2009 18:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if everyone I knew was an artist and they could paint their lives on a canvas, then I'm afraid I would see far too many people using sandpaper instead of a paintbrush. Tragic.
←Rate | 12-17-2009 18:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon : Women are like Vegetables: You need a Variety to remain Healthy!!!
←Rate | 12-17-2009 17:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon would describe himself in 3 words........moody,annoying,awesome......(the first 2 are what my wife said when I asked her).
←Rate | 12-17-2009 16:55 by bobhead25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon first a man, then I was a dragon-man, then I was just a dragon. TROOOGGGDDDOOORRR!!!
←Rate | 12-17-2009 15:57 by strongbad Comments (0)  

   messageicon a man walks up to his wife with a sheep under his arm, and says.. this is the pig I sleep with when you have a headach... confused, the wife says... thats not a pig under your arm?? I wasnt talking to u, replys the man
←Rate | 12-17-2009 15:08 by chronic iam Comments (0)  

   messageicon Michael jackson hasnt been this stiff since Mucully Culkin spent the night at Neverland ranch..
←Rate | 12-17-2009 15:06 by chronic iam Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I flip this coin, what are my chances of getting head
←Rate | 12-17-2009 15:05 by chronic iam Comments (0)  

   messageicon not all women are annoying,,, some are dead
←Rate | 12-17-2009 15:04 by chronic iam Comments (0)  

   messageicon How did they know kurt cobain had dandruff... they found his head and shoulders on the floor;)
←Rate | 12-17-2009 15:03 by chronic iam Comments (0)  

   messageicon about the time we make ends meet, someone moves the ends.
←Rate | 12-17-2009 14:56 by J Dubb Comments (0)  

   messageicon No one needs a vacation more than the person who just had one.
←Rate | 12-17-2009 14:55 by J Dubb Comments (0)  

   messageicon "This dog,is dog,a dog,good dog,way dog,to dog,keep dog,an dog,idiot dog,busy dog,for dog,20 dog,seconds dog," Now read without the word (dog)
←Rate | 12-17-2009 14:48 by chronic iam Comments (0)  

   messageicon why is that everything is the same day by day, but in 5 years everything is so different?
←Rate | 12-17-2009 13:03 by aNGELA Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinking the perfect holiday date for me this year has WELL HUNG stockings, a mistletoe belt buckle, nice christmas balls and NUMBA 1 SPOT on the naughty list.
←Rate | 12-17-2009 13:00 by Shoulin Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks that friends are the most important part of your life. Treasure the tears, treasure the laughter, but most importantly, treasure the memories
←Rate | 12-17-2009 12:44 by mullerman Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks it's often easier to ask for forgiveness, than to ask for permission..
←Rate | 12-17-2009 10:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon just because everything's different, doesn't mean anything's changed..!!!
←Rate | 12-17-2009 10:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ALCOHOL- Helping the beautiful horny people finding then waking up to ugly people since 33'.
←Rate | 12-17-2009 09:48 by Shoulin Comments (0)  

   messageicon wants to do it like they do on the discovery channel
←Rate | 12-17-2009 08:24 Comments (0)  

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