Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Fantasy football is about as close as most men will ever get to being a professional athlete.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 12:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't mess with Packer fans, it not nice to pick on retards!
←Rate | 10-16-2009 12:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon was so surprise when I was born that I didn't talk for a year and a half.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 12:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon got a Rolex for his birthday from the lesbians next door. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 11:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon gettin by with a little help from my friends.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:43 by Geek Goddess Comments (0)  

   messageicon If money could talk, it would say goodbye.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:42 by BunnyGuts Comments (0)  

   messageicon took the road less traveled and now she's lost.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:41 by BunnyGuts Comments (0)  

   messageicon tis' better to be pissed off than pissed on....
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:40 by Geek Goddess Comments (0)  

   messageicon loves's people she can't stand.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:38 by BunnyGuts Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks that if you ever try and fail, you need to erase all evidence that you tried.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:37 by Geek Goddess Comments (0)  

   messageicon ˙sƃuıɥʇ uo ǝʌıʇɔǝdsɹǝd ɹǝɥ ƃuıƃuɐɥɔ sı
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:37 by BunnyGuts Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks if you give a person a fish you feed them for a day, teach a person to use facebook and they won't bother you for weeks.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:36 by Bunnyguts Comments (0)  

   messageicon just stole this status from someone who stole it from someone else !!
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:34 by BunnyGuts Comments (0)  

   messageicon a pessimist is an experienced optimist.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:27 by BunnyGuts Comments (0)  

   messageicon gonna write something funny but I cracked under pressure
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks red meat isn't bad for you, green furry meat is!
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:25 by BunnyGuts Comments (0)  

   messageicon Precision. Concentration. Patience. Fearlessness. Four skills I possess while shaving my nuts that I wish I could apply to other aspects of my life.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 09:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon out back building a big helium balloon... Wanna go for a ride?
←Rate | 10-16-2009 09:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon out like the Red Sox! good night!
←Rate | 10-16-2009 07:49 by Ashden Ras Comments (0)  

   messageicon just because you have one doesnt mean you have to act like one
←Rate | 10-16-2009 05:58 Comments (0)  

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