Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon caught the chills while peeing.......thank goodness my wife bought these decorative bath towels
←Rate | 11-20-2009 00:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "The question before the human race is, whether the God of nature shall govern the world by his own laws, or whether priests and kings shall rule it by fictitious miracles."
←Rate | 11-19-2009 22:05 by potts Comments (0)  

   messageicon performing random acts of kindness today to totally mess with people
←Rate | 11-19-2009 21:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Forget a dislike button, I'd rather have a 'This makes me want to punch you in the back of the head' button. Especially between now and tomorrow when 96% of you will have the exact same status. New Moon is out or reminding me it's Friday.
←Rate | 11-19-2009 20:42 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sticks and stones may break my bones but words ... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading to a lowered self-esteem and decreased work-related efficiency
←Rate | 11-19-2009 20:07 by john Comments (0)  

   messageicon An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her
←Rate | 11-19-2009 20:06 by john Comments (0)  

   messageicon can finally watch the tv in the afternoon now. Oprah show is going off the air.
←Rate | 11-19-2009 18:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon hacked into Santa's computer,cleared the naughty list out..and has changed "coal" under Present List to "PS3""Wii" and "iphone".
←Rate | 11-19-2009 18:37 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon sales of gillete razors gone dwn, I bet you thierry henry's had a hand in that
←Rate | 11-19-2009 17:16 by costas Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey guys. Everybody. let's all give Santa a break this year.......Be naughty.
←Rate | 11-19-2009 14:28 by gator Comments (0)  

   messageicon ok,,, I am that person that pulls the door that says push and wonders what's going on*/*
←Rate | 11-19-2009 14:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christmas shopping for dangerous toys. For kids I don't like.
←Rate | 11-19-2009 14:05 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues to see it hang its little head and watch me tie my shoes.
←Rate | 11-19-2009 12:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 12/20/2012 Doomsday Party. mark your mayan calendar!
←Rate | 11-19-2009 11:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon the funniest person on Facebook hands down like 6:30!
←Rate | 11-19-2009 11:32 by sellers82 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey. Did everything just taste purple for a second?
←Rate | 11-19-2009 10:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks mummys are extinct bc they always wrap it up!
←Rate | 11-19-2009 08:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hukd on Fonics werked for me!
←Rate | 11-19-2009 07:28 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon As long as there are tests,there will always be public prayers in schools.
←Rate | 11-19-2009 07:25 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Change is inevitable,except from vending machines.
←Rate | 11-19-2009 07:21 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

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