Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon climbed to the top of Mount Everest and said hey I can see my house from here
←Rate | 12-21-2009 15:06 by Vitani Comments (0)  

   messageicon out spreading Christmas Cheer by streaking at sporting events.
←Rate | 12-21-2009 15:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa: if you ignore all my actions during weekends and all the alcohol I drank, you'll see that 6 out of 12 months I was a good boy, wich makes me 50% good...It's up to you to see the glass half empty or half full
←Rate | 12-21-2009 14:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Has been thinking that people cheat on there wife all the time, but you never cheat on your mistress... thats just wrong
←Rate | 12-21-2009 13:24 by Simpson502ky Comments (0)  

   messageicon being 39 and after 20 years of living with my mother never understood what she meant by..."boys piss in the toliet" when we thought we were......Until NOW that I have a boy to clean after........GEZZZZZZZZ........
←Rate | 12-21-2009 13:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today is the shortest day of the year. Can't wait for tomorrow when the days begin to get longer once again!
←Rate | 12-21-2009 11:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon giving up Status Updates for lent
←Rate | 12-21-2009 11:25 by Yaj Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't get your hopes up. Santa has about as much of a chance of bringing "Hope and Change" as a clown does.
←Rate | 12-21-2009 10:35 by SCURRY Comments (0)  

   messageicon would like to see things your way, but unfortunately can't stick my head that far up my arse
←Rate | 12-21-2009 10:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dont steal, the government doesnt like competition
←Rate | 12-21-2009 09:38 by chronic iam Comments (0)  

   messageicon Drugs have taught an entire generation of canadian kids the metric system!
←Rate | 12-21-2009 09:37 by chronic iam Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christmas is the time of year when we want our pasts forgotten and our presents remembered!
←Rate | 12-21-2009 09:19 by olemissman79 Comments (0)  

   messageicon heard that Elin is filing for divorce. In the filing, the reason listed was "irreconcilable waitresses".
←Rate | 12-21-2009 08:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bummer about Yahoo losing market share. You can read more about it at Google News.
←Rate | 12-21-2009 08:37 by marymc Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anyone know about how much Santa weighs ... I am currently setting a trap and need some info.
←Rate | 12-21-2009 03:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon - Jesus saves. Moses gets the puck. He shoots! HE SCORES!!!!
←Rate | 12-21-2009 00:56 by Jay Comments (0)  

   messageicon Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realise that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
←Rate | 12-21-2009 00:46 Comments (1)  

   messageicon and Alcohol ended their relationship.
←Rate | 12-20-2009 22:17 by Nick Burdall Comments (0)  

   messageicon It only takes me ONE beer to get drunk: Not sure if it's the 8th or 9th one tho.
←Rate | 12-20-2009 21:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon says Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back!
←Rate | 12-20-2009 19:54 by ANGELA Comments (0)  

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