Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon So the baby was watching Dora The Explorer today. For some reason, they were making donkey noises. My first thought was Dora had been deported and was now in Tijuana doing a "show" with a donkey! Glad I was wrong.
←Rate | 12-18-2009 01:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm shaking my laptop trying to figure out what's in the presents under my virtual Christmas tree..
←Rate | 12-17-2009 23:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon not a flinstone but i'll make your bed rock
←Rate | 12-17-2009 23:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon down at Fraggle Rock!!
←Rate | 12-17-2009 22:41 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks Christmas must be near. Just found a partridge in one of the pear trees on Farmtown
←Rate | 12-17-2009 18:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if everyone I knew was an artist and they could paint their lives on a canvas, then I'm afraid I would see far too many people using sandpaper instead of a paintbrush. Tragic.
←Rate | 12-17-2009 18:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon : Women are like Vegetables: You need a Variety to remain Healthy!!!
←Rate | 12-17-2009 17:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon would describe himself in 3 words........moody,annoying,awesome......(the first 2 are what my wife said when I asked her).
←Rate | 12-17-2009 16:55 by bobhead25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon first a man, then I was a dragon-man, then I was just a dragon. TROOOGGGDDDOOORRR!!!
←Rate | 12-17-2009 15:57 by strongbad Comments (0)  

   messageicon a man walks up to his wife with a sheep under his arm, and says.. this is the pig I sleep with when you have a headach... confused, the wife says... thats not a pig under your arm?? I wasnt talking to u, replys the man
←Rate | 12-17-2009 15:08 by chronic iam Comments (0)  

   messageicon Michael jackson hasnt been this stiff since Mucully Culkin spent the night at Neverland ranch..
←Rate | 12-17-2009 15:06 by chronic iam Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I flip this coin, what are my chances of getting head
←Rate | 12-17-2009 15:05 by chronic iam Comments (0)  

   messageicon not all women are annoying,,, some are dead
←Rate | 12-17-2009 15:04 by chronic iam Comments (0)  

   messageicon How did they know kurt cobain had dandruff... they found his head and shoulders on the floor;)
←Rate | 12-17-2009 15:03 by chronic iam Comments (0)  

   messageicon about the time we make ends meet, someone moves the ends.
←Rate | 12-17-2009 14:56 by J Dubb Comments (0)  

   messageicon No one needs a vacation more than the person who just had one.
←Rate | 12-17-2009 14:55 by J Dubb Comments (0)  

   messageicon "This dog,is dog,a dog,good dog,way dog,to dog,keep dog,an dog,idiot dog,busy dog,for dog,20 dog,seconds dog," Now read without the word (dog)
←Rate | 12-17-2009 14:48 by chronic iam Comments (0)  

   messageicon why is that everything is the same day by day, but in 5 years everything is so different?
←Rate | 12-17-2009 13:03 by aNGELA Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinking the perfect holiday date for me this year has WELL HUNG stockings, a mistletoe belt buckle, nice christmas balls and NUMBA 1 SPOT on the naughty list.
←Rate | 12-17-2009 13:00 by Shoulin Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks that friends are the most important part of your life. Treasure the tears, treasure the laughter, but most importantly, treasure the memories
←Rate | 12-17-2009 12:44 by mullerman Comments (0)  

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