Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Dear God, This year, please send clothes for all those poor women on Uncle Bob's computer. Amen
←Rate | 12-29-2009 01:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering if we are supposed to call them "man made disasterists" since it's not terrorism anymore.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 00:43 by RSP Comments (0)  

   messageicon doing research to come up with a vaccine for stupidity. Please donate accordingly.
←Rate | 12-28-2009 21:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon always snickers when people say their computer went down on them.
←Rate | 12-28-2009 21:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon needs money for alcohol research. Please donate.
←Rate | 12-28-2009 21:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders who the smart a$$ is putting all the w's in the M&M's?
←Rate | 12-28-2009 21:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon one good wish changing nothing, one good decision changes everything!
←Rate | 12-28-2009 20:41 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon The vet confirmed my dog is now officially lame. I'll start walking her in Ed Hardy gear then
←Rate | 12-28-2009 20:18 by GB Comments (0)  

   messageicon why does it seem like Toys 'R Us just threw up in my living room???
←Rate | 12-28-2009 20:16 by GeoffreyB Comments (0)  

   messageicon remember the good old days when Nigerians were just scamming people on the internet...
←Rate | 12-28-2009 20:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ▂ ▃ ▅ ▆ █ AT&T 3G - I got your map right HERE Verizon!
←Rate | 12-28-2009 18:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon enjoying a nice bottle of vintage DayQuil '09. The texture is like honey, taste like crap with touch of lemon
←Rate | 12-28-2009 18:07 by Samir Momin Comments (0)  

   messageicon would rather check Facebook, than face his checkbook!
←Rate | 12-28-2009 17:57 by COREY Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some people stick their foots in their mouth every once in a while. Every once in a while I pull mine out.
←Rate | 12-28-2009 17:48 by Tal Comments (0)  

   messageicon playing his oompa loompa flute while wrapped in a snuggy
←Rate | 12-28-2009 17:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Now that food has replaced sex,I can't even get into my own pants.
←Rate | 12-28-2009 15:30 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't you just hate it when people say stuff in thier status that you really did'nt want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop. Talk to ya later.
←Rate | 12-28-2009 14:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Even Its Complicated Relationship Status iz Too Complicated For Me
←Rate | 12-28-2009 13:16 by FEARLESS Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life is too complicated in the morning.
←Rate | 12-28-2009 10:11 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Gotta [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] to make you Holler
←Rate | 12-28-2009 10:04 by Mr Craig Comments (0)  

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