Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon ... all in all we're just another brick in the Wal(Mart).
←Rate | 11-27-2009 11:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What is it with the absent reference status messages. When people say things like "I can't believe you would do that" or anything with "You know who you are." We don't and frankly, we don't care. It's just you posting your drama filled life up to generate
←Rate | 11-27-2009 09:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon uses the exclamat!on po!nt a l!ttle too much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
←Rate | 11-27-2009 02:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon some people call it Thanksgiving Day.....I call it "Bitc* Slap Vegetarian" Day
←Rate | 11-27-2009 00:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon to belittle is to be little.
←Rate | 11-27-2009 00:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon blowing out another's candle will not make yours shine brighter.
←Rate | 11-27-2009 00:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon anger is only one letter short of danger
←Rate | 11-27-2009 00:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon In hindsight...maybe telling the whole family while we were pulling names for christmas grab bag that I was going to be getting into directing porn was not really the ideal time to do so....I did however draw Grandma Gertrude though!!!!
←Rate | 11-27-2009 00:39 by DS Comments (0)  

   messageicon It is beyond me why people would be camping outside in the cold weather waiting 7, 8 hours to go spend them money...SMH
←Rate | 11-27-2009 00:26 by Snypa Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thanksgiving! The time of the year where the bathrooms are the busiest
←Rate | 11-26-2009 22:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Shut up homework. I'm trying to do my facebook
←Rate | 11-26-2009 21:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon not sure what the words "PORN" and "POT" have to do with Thanksgiving ... but I know my Mom said both of them at the Dinner table tonight.
←Rate | 11-26-2009 20:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon All I said was .. "Just spread the legs open alittle wider and I'll stuff it in".....Geez thats the last time I try to help stuff a turkey !
←Rate | 11-26-2009 20:04 by SeanyB Comments (0)  

   messageicon women are like pianos,there grand when there not upright!
←Rate | 11-26-2009 18:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not usually a fan of cliche's, but every now and then it's ok to ask yourself what you're truly thankful for...
←Rate | 11-26-2009 18:21 by potts Comments (0)  

   messageicon Gotta love sharing a bathroom with elderly family after Thanksgiving Dinner...I feel like Andy Dufrain crawling thru those 200 hundred yards of pipe for freedom....
←Rate | 11-26-2009 16:59 by DS Comments (1)  

   messageicon Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
←Rate | 11-26-2009 15:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
←Rate | 11-26-2009 15:46 by kibbs23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thank god I'm ambidextrious and thank you redtube
←Rate | 11-26-2009 13:58 Comments (1)  

   messageicon can't wait for this 365 day weekend to begin.
←Rate | 11-26-2009 13:48 by fefe Comments (0)  

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