Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon if someone at your church tells you that you have a servant's're about to start stackin' chairs.
←Rate | 08-30-2009 13:33 by robert Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks you should always follow your dreams.........well, except maybe not the one when I'm wondering around naked at work.
←Rate | 08-30-2009 06:51 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon ..muscles needed to make your face frown when someone is a moron to you-42. Muscles needed to extend arm and slap said person-4. You do the math...
←Rate | 08-30-2009 03:37 by Piney Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks Dennis Leary said it best...."Ted Kennedy, great Senator, but a bad date!"
←Rate | 08-29-2009 21:18 by Vybe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Welcome to Utah - Set your watch back 20 years.
←Rate | 08-29-2009 20:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Once you have seen a woman naked... You pretty much want to see the rest of then naked.
←Rate | 08-29-2009 18:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon here, reminding all of you, obey gravity, it's the law.
←Rate | 08-29-2009 12:39 by Jones Comments (0)  

   messageicon if I had to comment your status with "What happened?" and you reply "I don't even want to talk about it...", do you think maybe you should have kept it to yourself?
←Rate | 08-29-2009 06:51 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon hates it when you ask someone "How was your day?" and all they say is "good, and yours?" Thank you for summing up your day with just one word. Way to be detailed.
←Rate | 08-29-2009 06:49 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon recommending a Magic 8 Ball for times when Obama has no teleprompter.
←Rate | 08-29-2009 00:06 by j Comments (0)  

   messageicon when it comes down to it, it's the little thongs in life that makes it all worthwhile...
←Rate | 08-28-2009 12:19 by olemissman79 Comments (0)  

   messageicon in the studio with Chris Brown making new 'beats' for his album.
←Rate | 08-28-2009 10:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Real Men of Genius.Today we salute you Mr.Compulsive Status Update Checker.People are out actually having fun, your stuck reading about it on a screen. One click instant "mafia and farmville" updates to live vicariously through, friends you... haven't see
←Rate | 08-28-2009 05:56 by matt h Comments (0)  

   messageicon counting the number of friends who remind him that it's Friday.
←Rate | 08-28-2009 04:40 Comments (0)  

←Rate | 08-28-2009 04:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon kissed a girl and I liked it. She, on the other hand; filed a restraining order.
←Rate | 08-27-2009 18:40 by Peebs Comments (0)  

   messageicon anti-obama before it was cool
←Rate | 08-27-2009 13:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon went to Facebook and all I got was this stupid status message.
←Rate | 08-27-2009 09:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I bought a cabin on a lake.... but there are signs all over my side of the lake saying "NO WAKE ZONE"...... now I am afraid to go to sleep.
←Rate | 08-27-2009 04:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't count the seconds... Make every second count...
←Rate | 08-27-2009 01:51 by Lloyd Comments (0)  

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