Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon has the 3 best friends that anyone can have. ♫♪ ♫♪ ♫♪ (from the movie "Hangover")
←Rate | 12-28-2009 09:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks the Amsterdam smoke shops should begin limiting marijuana consumption to the Nigerians that are about to board planes heading to Detroit.
←Rate | 12-28-2009 07:54 by marymc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now is the time to get ready for 2010! Whatever your plans, write them out and map your way!
←Rate | 12-27-2009 23:56 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon there are no shortcuts to any place worth going...
←Rate | 12-27-2009 23:54 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon I trust you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do tonight
←Rate | 12-27-2009 22:20 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks Facebook needs another relationship status: commitment phobe
←Rate | 12-27-2009 21:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
←Rate | 12-27-2009 20:22 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
←Rate | 12-27-2009 18:12 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friends are like Christmas lights. Some are broke, others just don't work for you....and there are others that make your day shine bright.
←Rate | 12-27-2009 17:55 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching the neighbors climb in their SUV with dirt shovels and a rolled up carpet hmmm.... oh well
←Rate | 12-27-2009 15:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
←Rate | 12-27-2009 13:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drinking beer and watching Nascars , People ask me what's my favorite kind of beer I tell am an open one!
←Rate | 12-27-2009 13:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.
←Rate | 12-27-2009 12:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants to personally apologize for those that couldn't get their gifts from Santa: He died of laughter when I told him I had been nice all year......
←Rate | 12-27-2009 11:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon you're oddly sophisticated in a paradoxal mannor leaving me in this difficult conundrum. it puzzles me beyond recovery. I spend weeks crying because I cannot liberate myself from this bewildered state. I even began to think that my dog was a large gerbil.
←Rate | 12-27-2009 10:36 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon this just in....Florida is flooding due to all the tears from devastated Florida fans
←Rate | 12-26-2009 19:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon yes tebow is leaving . . . but that is not considered a medical reason . . unless everyone is dehydrated from crying so much
←Rate | 12-26-2009 19:34 by bohricua Comments (0)  


   messageicon my relationship status changed...now it shows I'm "in a relationship with Rocket Pocket"....look forward to pics....
←Rate | 12-26-2009 15:35 by Karencita Comments (0)  


   messageicon forgive your enemys nothing pisses them off more
←Rate | 12-26-2009 12:02 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon note to self for next Christmas..... don't leave deer jerky out for Santa - cookies are a better choice...
←Rate | 12-26-2009 10:40 Comments (0)  




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