Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon ..i bought a pair of shoes called "Dyke". It has an extra large tongue and it gets off with just one finger.
←Rate | 01-24-2010 21:21 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon going to go save the world.........its the only place with chocolate
←Rate | 01-24-2010 20:46 by Txt-a-holic Comments (0)  

   messageicon brought to you by Summers Eve. When your situation down south makes him breathe through his mouth.
←Rate | 01-24-2010 19:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon STOP EVERYTHING YOUR DOING!!! Think about me for 3 secs. 1.....2.....3.... You have just experienced the best 3 seconds of your life. You're Welcome!
←Rate | 01-24-2010 18:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Got a problem? iI got a problem solver……and his name is revolver.
←Rate | 01-24-2010 18:27 by ANGELA Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't follow my footsteps I run into walls!
←Rate | 01-24-2010 18:27 by ANGELA Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pessimism is great, You are either always right or pleasently suprised.
←Rate | 01-24-2010 18:26 by ANGELA Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your intelligence is my common sense.
←Rate | 01-24-2010 18:25 by ANGELA Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years. …
←Rate | 01-24-2010 18:24 by ANGELA Comments (0)  

   messageicon If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead … Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?
←Rate | 01-24-2010 18:23 by ANGELA Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back, or a schizophrenic from behind a mirror.
←Rate | 01-24-2010 18:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
←Rate | 01-24-2010 18:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Out of all your lies I love you was my favorite.
←Rate | 01-24-2010 18:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wants you to know that if a jelly fish ever stung you, I'd pee on you!
←Rate | 01-24-2010 17:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon it takes a lot of balls to golf like I do
←Rate | 01-24-2010 16:23 by Tyler Comments (0)  

   messageicon so poor I am having to layway my drugs and beer... 90 days from todays date the party is on!!!!
←Rate | 01-24-2010 15:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wishing I could hit CTL ± ALT ± DEL ± and start today all over!!!
←Rate | 01-24-2010 14:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...wanted to buy some goose feathers but couldn't afford the down payment..
←Rate | 01-24-2010 12:56 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon never realized why no one likes Val Kilmer... But I just realized.... You killed GOOSE... YOU B*STARD!
←Rate | 01-24-2010 10:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wrinkles are hereditary. Mothers and fathers get them from their children.
←Rate | 01-24-2010 08:36 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

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