Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon If men honestly answered the facebook question: What's on your mind? Facebook would be like a pornsite
←Rate | 02-16-2010 07:41 by Mduduzi Gama Comments (0)  


   messageicon If men really wrote answered facebook question ; What's on your mind? Facebook would be like a pornsite
←Rate | 02-16-2010 07:38 by Mduduzi Gama Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
←Rate | 02-16-2010 06:22 by Mduduzi Gama Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dont care what they say. I think my third nipple is very attractive.
←Rate | 02-16-2010 03:54 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon practise safe lunch, use a condiment!
←Rate | 02-16-2010 03:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men Fart more Than Women Simply Becasue Women Can't Shut Up Long Enough To Build Up The Required Pressure !!!
←Rate | 02-16-2010 01:09 by EDK Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Lord You have taken away my favourite actoress britney Murphy favourite Singer Mj and my favourite spokesman billy mays I just wanna say my favourite singer is lil wayne
←Rate | 02-16-2010 00:37 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon believes that if you tellyour boss what you really thinkof him, the truth will set youfree.
←Rate | 02-15-2010 23:58 by @akshay7890 Comments (2)  


   messageicon I've always wondered iffilm directors wake up screaming"CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" whenthey have nightmares.
←Rate | 02-15-2010 23:50 by @akshay7890 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just received a coupon inthe mail: Buy one sock, get oneFREE! While socks last.
←Rate | 02-15-2010 23:29 by @akshay7890 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Statistically 5/4 of peoplehave trouble with fractions.
←Rate | 02-15-2010 23:16 by @akshay7890 Comments (0)  


   messageicon in front of his home with every electric fan he owns blowing upward, in a defiant act against Mother Nature.....Enough with the snow lady, just go watch "The Waltons" reruns until Spring......
←Rate | 02-15-2010 20:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just became a fan of I KNOW YOUR A FAN OF "GET A NOTIFICATION OF WHO VIEWED YOUR PROFILE" SO I AM GOING TO CLICK ON YOUR PROFILE PAGE 400 TIMES A DAY TO GIVE YOU FALSE HOPE OR TO THINK I AM CYBER STALKING YOU...
←Rate | 02-15-2010 20:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its Friend Deletion Day.... Any Volunteers???????
←Rate | 02-15-2010 19:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks it's funny that Evolutionists believe enough million monkeys will eventually type out a literary work. Facebook has proven this wrong.
←Rate | 02-15-2010 19:37 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon a really bad case of the fuckits today!
←Rate | 02-15-2010 18:13 by DJ Twiztid Comments (0)  


   messageicon saw a suburban 'biker' (Ha!) with a sticker on his helmet that said "Americans Never Forget". He then thought about people clamoring for Sarah Palin to be President and thought to himself "Americans DO forget. Oh, yes indeed, they do.".
←Rate | 02-15-2010 16:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ǝןƃuɐ ʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp ɐ ɯoɹɟ pןɹoʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooן ɐ ƃuıʞɐʇ
←Rate | 02-15-2010 15:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the statistic that a man thinks about sex every 45 seconds is completely made up, and furthermore I find it insulting!!!.........................it's more like every 15 seconds......;-)
←Rate | 02-15-2010 15:14 by Talsier aka Shane Comments (0)  


   messageicon All mankind's inner feelings eventually manifest themselves as an outer reality.
←Rate | 02-15-2010 14:07 Comments (0)  




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