Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon wondering when are guys gonna stop wearing their sisters faggety skinny jeans and wearing their hair in feminine haircuts?
←Rate | 11-30-2009 23:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon saving his breath, I need it to blow up my date
←Rate | 11-30-2009 23:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon farts with the sole purpose of making you smell better
←Rate | 11-30-2009 23:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ... "No Prince Charming Riding Up On a White Horse Anymore", Girls are Done With All Those Pointless Fairy Tales. Now It's Time to Wait For Some Real MEN .... as Jacob The Werewolf and Edward The Vampire, hahah !!!
←Rate | 11-30-2009 23:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Procrastination is like masturbation...if feels good while you're doing it but in the end you only f*cked yourself
←Rate | 11-30-2009 20:17 by Pineapple Comments (0)  

   messageicon Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? I bet hes not laughing out loud
←Rate | 11-30-2009 20:07 by kristi r. Comments (0)  

   messageicon putting on his mistletoe belt buckle
←Rate | 11-30-2009 19:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 18:55 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 18:54 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon says: Is it just me or do all the people in "The Snuggie" commercials look like they are in a cult???
←Rate | 11-30-2009 18:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 17:14 by NED Comments (0)  

   messageicon Rehab is for quiters
←Rate | 11-30-2009 17:00 by tp Comments (0)  

   messageicon End discrimination. Hate everybody!
←Rate | 11-30-2009 16:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon may not be Santa, but it doesnt mean he hasnt seen you while you're sleeping...
←Rate | 11-30-2009 15:56 by GeoffreyB Comments (0)  

   messageicon Congratulations! You're not illiterate
←Rate | 11-30-2009 15:20 by @CGRIN2049 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks It's easier to seek forgiveness than ask for permission.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 15:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I went through three magazines on the train yesterday. I'd killed a dozen people before they managed to wrestle the gun off me
←Rate | 11-30-2009 14:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wake me up when is xmas over coz I cant afford buy any presents....
←Rate | 11-30-2009 12:12 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon AOL has announced that they're going to lay off one-third of their employees. On the bright side, it's AOL, so they're going to do it slowly and with frequent interruptions.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 11:17 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon wants a hippopotamus for Christmas.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 10:18 by GB Ward Comments (0)  

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